Fiction
I always feel unsafe around them. Especially when I was a little girl. There’s five of us. I am the oldest girl. We all have the letter J in our first names. Janaye is my baby sister. She is five. I am very protective of my siblings. I have to be. She won’t do it, my mom, Jennifer. Jeno is the oldest brother we have. He is twelve years old. I’m in the 8th grade. They call me Janet. We have a set of fraternal twins. Jeremey and Janice are in the second grade. The twins have the same father. The rest of us all have different daddies. The other day Janaye came home from school crying. After she calmed down she told me what happened. She asked me why her father never comes around to see her. Her tears made me cry. I love her so much. She is just a little innocent girl! She told me how all the other kindergarten kids in her class always talk about the things they do with their dads. I remember feeling the exact same way at her age. She told me it makes her sad because her dad isn’t in her life. Then she told me about the dance at her school. It's a Father-Daughter dance. Jennifer told sweet little Janaye she would find someone to take her. It’s not going to happen. She broke up with her most recent man because he tried to use a belt on Jeno for no reason at all. Two weeks later someone new started coming around. Jeno called my grandmother. My grandma is the only one who keeps my mom in line. My mom is consumed with her own life.
When I was Janaye’s age I had about 5 different daddies. None of them were decent men. My mom sure knows how to pick them. My mom use to leave me and Jeno with her boyfriends all the time. Why do women do that? It makes no sense to me and I am only 13. I promised myself not to let the things I endured happen to the rest of my brothers and sisters. I have been successful so far. I talk to them and ask them lots of questions when I am away from home. I think I met my real father once or twice. My mom is very insecure and controlling; a dangerous mixture. My grandma would get so mad at her when I was able to speak and tell her things. I’ve been through it all; sexually abused, physically abused and placed in second place when a new man came into the picture. I observe how her new man looks at Janice and Janaye. He is also a loser. When you are little no one really protects you because you don’t have a voice. When you get older, that’s a different story. Why do children have to even worry about sleeping in peace or being protected?
My mom has a good job. She has her Master’s in business. She is not a dumb woman. She is also not wise at all. We live in an upscale neighborhood. My mom works hard. She provides a very good life for us. She is a free meal ticket to a lot of the men she brings in our home. The guy she is with now smokes weed all the time. It’s all in our house. This one does have a job so when we go to school and come home he is not there. I think he comes at night. My mom’s siblings don’t speak to her since they found out a few years ago Jeno and I was abused by her boyfriends. My grandmother makes sure we are with her on the holidays and when we get out of school early. Grandma is our angel. She fights for us. At least someone finally does!
We love our mom. We just want her to love us back. We don’t care about all the material things we have, we just want what we can’t have…her! My brothers and sisters have had so many men in our life who demand we call them daddy, it’s crazy. My mom doesn’t get it! She is looking for love in all the wrong places. She has five pounds of strong love waiting on her.
What are some ways you protect your children? Do you? You should!
When I was Janaye’s age I had about 5 different daddies. None of them were decent men. My mom sure knows how to pick them. My mom use to leave me and Jeno with her boyfriends all the time. Why do women do that? It makes no sense to me and I am only 13. I promised myself not to let the things I endured happen to the rest of my brothers and sisters. I have been successful so far. I talk to them and ask them lots of questions when I am away from home. I think I met my real father once or twice. My mom is very insecure and controlling; a dangerous mixture. My grandma would get so mad at her when I was able to speak and tell her things. I’ve been through it all; sexually abused, physically abused and placed in second place when a new man came into the picture. I observe how her new man looks at Janice and Janaye. He is also a loser. When you are little no one really protects you because you don’t have a voice. When you get older, that’s a different story. Why do children have to even worry about sleeping in peace or being protected?
My mom has a good job. She has her Master’s in business. She is not a dumb woman. She is also not wise at all. We live in an upscale neighborhood. My mom works hard. She provides a very good life for us. She is a free meal ticket to a lot of the men she brings in our home. The guy she is with now smokes weed all the time. It’s all in our house. This one does have a job so when we go to school and come home he is not there. I think he comes at night. My mom’s siblings don’t speak to her since they found out a few years ago Jeno and I was abused by her boyfriends. My grandmother makes sure we are with her on the holidays and when we get out of school early. Grandma is our angel. She fights for us. At least someone finally does!
We love our mom. We just want her to love us back. We don’t care about all the material things we have, we just want what we can’t have…her! My brothers and sisters have had so many men in our life who demand we call them daddy, it’s crazy. My mom doesn’t get it! She is looking for love in all the wrong places. She has five pounds of strong love waiting on her.
What are some ways you protect your children? Do you? You should!
