The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues women have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! The continuation from the last show (July 2018) begins as Iona, Constance, Kayla, Trisha and Valeria allow callers to call the show regarding the identity of biracial people. 

Iona:
Okay we are back from a short break. We have an anonymous first time caller. Hey Ms. Anonymous, you are very welcome to chat.

Anonymous:
I am the product of a woman who had an affair with a man of another race and I was born. My mom is white. I was raised by my stepfather who is white. My biological dad is African. He was born in Ghana. I identify myself as biracial. I have no qualms about saying it or telling anyone. This is why women should practice safer sex. Sleeping with multiple partners often results in women not knowing who the father of their child is. That is not fair to the child.
 
Iona:
So, when did you find out and how did your mother tell you? Is your real dad in your life?
 
Anonymous:
It was extremely difficult for my mom to be transparent with me. I mean, no one wants their kids to think, let alone know they lived that kind of lifestyle. She told me when I was in high school. I am a grown adult woman now. No, my biological dad is not in my life. I believe I was conceived during their one night together. She never told him because she was with my stepfather who raised me like I was his own.
 
Kayla:
Wow! I am blown away by your story. Do you have features that are dominate on your black side or your white side? I am just curious.
 
Anonymous:
I look more like a medium to light brown skin black woman. My hair is thick and curly. I have grey eyes. My mom could not hide it from my stepfather. Although he knew about the affair, he loved me no less than my other siblings. My mom made sure I knew both sides of my cultures. People in my family act like I am supposed to suppress the African blood in me. I cannot and will not. I was meant to be here. I embrace both sides. I am a proud biracial woman; despite how it happened. I am in the progress of connecting with my biological father because I want to get to know him.
 
Constance:
Good for you Anonymous! We have our next caller patiently holding on. Hey Desiree. You are very welcome to chat.
 
Desiree:
Hello Sisters! I can completely relate to you Constance and Iona. My dad is black and my mom is Cuban. I thought you were sharing my testimony when you shared your story with us. I was teased just like you by a lot of the black girls I went to school with. Both of my parents were born with the lighter skin so I inherited that as well. I grew up in a mixed community but somehow I was always bullied for how I looked. I didn’t understand it until I got older. Kids wanted me to make a choice. Either I was going to hang out with the black girls or hang out with my white and Latina friends. It was so crazy. I believe colorism had a lot to do with my experience being a biracial female in elementary and even in high school. I identify as biracial.
 
Iona:
Thank you Desiree. She’s also a first time caller. Next we have one of our regulars, Terryannelynn. Hey girl! You know you are welcome to chat with a name like that.
 
Terryannelynn:
Hey ladies. Hi Iona! I do not think a person should have to choose whether they want to be black or white if they are biracial. I disagree with that. How about we learn to accept people the way they are. I agree 100% with you Constance. I don’t care what I look like to you on the outside, I am not going to deny any bloodline that makes up my DNA. Why should I have to make a choice when I am comfortable in my own skin?
 
Iona:
Terryannelynn, have you been holding out on us. Are you biracial?
 
Terryannelynn:
No, I am not. I think it is crazy how folks put so much energy into how another person chooses to identify themselves. I have friends who are biracial. I’ve heard the good, bad and ugly stories they have encountered. It’s such a shame!
 
Trisha:
Thank you so much for always being one of our loyal listeners and supporters. We have our first man on the line. I think a Mr. Naiyoo. You are very welcome to chat.
 
Mr. Naiyoo:
I want to thank you ladies for the opportunity to have this very important dialogue. I heard a caller earlier state that it shouldn’t matter what is in your bloodline or how you identify yourself in this world. It certainly should not but history has taught us that it does matter. My mom is black and my father is Japanese. I have been told I have very attractive features. I grew up in Japan the first 10 years of my life then we moved to the United States. I majored in Actuarial Science. In my field there aren’t a lot of black folks or people of color who are represented well but we are out there. My point is, sometimes it can be a benefit when you look a certain way. Corporations look to fill certain positions and boards based off of how you look. I identify myself as a biracial man. On my applications I mark Asian and black because that is who I am.

Iona:
I am not trying to be rude but what was the point in what you said?
 
Mr. Naiyoo:
My point was that, I feel like I am blessed with my Japanese heritage and my black heritage. It is an advantage. I am able to be an asset to my own business and the companies I contract with because of it! I also did answer the question. I said I identified as a biracial man. Have a pleasant day Iona.
 
Kayla:
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Mr. Naiyoo. Please remember you are all welcome to give your perspectives. We have another male caller. Oh, wait. We have Tod and Tanya on the line. You guys are very welcome to chat. Ladies first, Tanya.
 
Tanya:
I just want to say my brother and I have totally different views about our identity. We are fraternal twins. One or our parents is black and one is white. I identify as a black woman. It’s not that I have chosen a side. I don’t deny my white side. When I look in the mirror, I see a black woman. My brother has a huge problem with me for articulating that but it’s just the way it is. I don’t think a person necessarily have to choose a side based off of pressure from someone else. This is just my preference. I do NOT deny that I am biracial. I identify more as a black woman.
 
Tod:
My sister and I are very close. I identify as biracial. Our dad is white and our mom is black. I refuse to choose a side. I don’t feel I have to do that. When I look in the mirror I see both parts of my mom and dad running in my veins. I think all women are beautiful. I’ve dating them all. Unlike Iona and Constance, I never had any issues fitting in because I looked different to some people.
 
Kayla:
Do you guys think that being biracial is a benefit? Mr. Naiyoo was one of our callers who said that it was for him.
 
Tod:
I’ve been told I look like a white boy. I am pretty sure it has helped me on jobs and in certain paths of my life. I would not deny that. Yes!
 
Tanya:
I co-sign on what my brother said. Yes, it definitely has helped me in my career. Sometimes different people (black and white) feel a certain way about hiring darker skin folks and lighter skin people. You would hope to be given the chance based off of merit and not skin color. I am grateful all companies are not like that but some are.
 
Valeria:
Tanya and Tod, thank you for your comments. Next up, we have Angela. You are very welcome to chat.

Angela:
I will be very brief. I think when you mix bloodlines you create beautiful babies. I love biracial couples! I am one of them. I have a lot of friends who are biracial couples. We all have biracial babies. We started a foundation for biracial babies. I think it is simply wonderful to give birth to biracial babies. I love it! I feel if you are biracial, it is your choice to identify the way you want to be identified. It really is no one else business.
 
Valeria:
Great! Thanks Angela for that perky comment. Next we have Maria. Maria, you are very welcome to chat.
 
Maria:
Hello to all of the fine ladies of the Sister Circle. My mom is Mexican and my dad is white. I identify myself as a white woman. I associate more with the white side of my family and I don’t see anything wrong with that. On my applications I label myself as white. I don’t feel like I am denying my mom’s side at all. I know I am biracial but like the previous caller said, when I look in the mirror I see a white woman. Thank you!
 
Valeria:
Wait, don’t hang up Maria. How does you mom feel about you identifying more with your father’s side and less with your Hispanic side? Also may I ask your age range?
 
Maria:
My mom has no issues with it. My cousins on my Mexican side do have issues but there issues are not mines. My father often encourages me to hang around my mom’s side. I feel more comfortable around my dad side. I grew up around them mostly. I am 24 years old.
 
Valeria:
I understand. Thanks for sharing. We have a few more callers. TK is up next. You are welcome to chat with us Mr. TK.
 
TK:
Although I am biracial, I consider myself a black man. My mom is white and my dad is black. I understand I am mixed with both races and if you saw a picture of me you could probably tell. I sometimes feel I am treated differently than other black men because I am mixed. No one has the right to dictate to anyone how they should feel or how they choose to identify themselves. It’s a personal choice. I am not denying my mom's side. I was actually raised by my mom's side and hung around my white side the most. Like Trisha said when you see certain folks you see a black man or a white man. It's rare that people say "Oh he is biracial" so I am just keeping it real. Thanks for allowing me to comment.
 
Trisha:
Okay this will be our last caller. Brianetta you are welcome to chat.
 
Brianetta:
I’ve been trying forever to get through. Thank God! Okay, so I wanted to give my 2 cents. I do not believe a person should say they identify with this side verses the other side. If you are biracial, you are biracial. Like Constance said, you should be proud of both! There is no way around it. I respect their choice to say how they feel. In my opinion you are denying the other side when you publicly state you are black when you are both black and white. Just because a person is mixed does not mean they are assumed the most attractive. There are some biracial folks who look like regular individuals. Also you don’t have to be biracial for a company to have a preference as to whether or not you fit their culture. I am not biracial. I was told plenty of times in light of my skin color and hair texture, I fit the prototype of the women the company I currently work for like to hire. We have so many issues when it comes to race when we really don’t have to. If we really wanted to be technical, we could all trace our ancestry and find some black and white running in all of our blood. At the end of the day we all should be striving to better ourselves and each other; to ensure those who come after us feel part of a human race. 

Constance:
I am very grateful for all the comments concerning biracial identity. I hope and pray if you have a problem with a person's hair texture or you don't like them because they are biracial and you are feeling some kind of way, maybe you should look within yourself to figure out what is wrong with you. ​It's so absurd! I never want any mother or child to experience what I did at my husband's family reunion with my son.

Constance, Iona, Valeria, Trisha, Kayla:
That wraps up the circle. Please join us next week for our next Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats! Thank you!

Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! 

The ladies start off their 2018 Sister Circle welcoming their audience into the New Year. They have a very controversial guest on the show to discuss his ideology of black women poor choices linked to crime in their communities. A few of the ladies do not agree with Dr. Toussaint; some do! Dr. Don Toussaint is a bestselling author. He is a professor of African American Studies at a prestigious institution. He has a popular syndicated television show called My Life in The Machine that he co-produces on WSB-TV in Atlanta. Dr. Toussaint proclaims that black women are the main ingredients to crime and poverty in the black community because they make bad choices when they select their mates.  
Valeria:
Welcome to our first show of 2018. We would like to extend our blessings and love to you for this New Year. I am reluctant to give this opening in light of the disunity we have established on the topic we are about to discuss. When we started Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats we made a vow to remain open to bring all issues to our table without prejudice; no matter how hard it would get. Dr. Toussaint is our special guest today. Welcome Dr. Toussaint, you are very welcome to chat.

Dr. Toussaint:
Thank you very much Valeria. I want to thank you and all of the Sisters for having me on the show. I deeply value how hard it was to agree to have me on here and appreciate your efforts to have an open mind.

Iona:
As a black and Italian woman; which I am very proud of, I do not agree with you. I do NOT like your views nor do I wish to have you advocate them on this show. I think the majority of our viewers would utterly agree with me.

Dr. Toussaint:
Well, I don’t have to guess which one of the Sisters didn’t want me on the show today. Please, just hear me out before you jump down on me, Iona. I know you are fiesta. I understand your plight.

Iona:
Yes, I sure didn’t vote to have you on; more like the opposite. You are correct!
Kayla:
Welcome to the show Dr. Toussaint. First of all, I would like to acknowledge our viewers are independent thinkers. They think for themselves. We can’t assume or predict what our audience will or will not agree on; reducing their intelligence to ad absurdum. Can you please tell us more about your interpretations on single black women and crime?

Dr. Toussaint:
Public assistance or welfare was created in 1935. Black children grew up with a mother and a father from about 1920-1960. The decline began when the influx of welfare occurred in the black community, after 1960. Black women selected knuckle heads to have babies with, then they were stuck raising children by themselves. If they had babies out of wedlock they knew they could receive public assistance to help them take care of their children so they kept having them. It is the reason why I think welfare should be abolished. If black women didn’t have the choice to lean on someone else to care for their own children, they would pick a man who had strong character; financially responsible, and a man who wants to build something with them as a family. This is where we are today. In 2017, you have single black women depending on a government check. They continue to have babies by men who don’t have jobs, a plan or who doesn’t seem to want much out of life. Most of the crime and gang activity is found in households of single mothers in light of their bad choices in men. High school drop outs are the result of single mothers; the list goes on and on.

Iona:
Kayla, you of all women, do not have any insight to speak on the issues of black women. Dr. Toussaint, as a single woman of 2 children, I was never on public assistance. I have always worked extra hard for everything I have. My kids father is abundantly in their life. He is not in my life. We were in engaged to be married but I did not want him to marry me because we had kids together. As a single parent, I am passionate about anyone who tries to stigmatize single black women bad mothers. There are millions of black women who are not on welfare; who are making good choices with the men they lay with. As a black man you should be able to empathize with what we go through. As a copywriter I had to work triple hard to get to where I am at 25.

Kayla:
Iona, if you are referring to me be a white woman, you are totally erroneous. I have a right to voice my opinion just like anyone else on this show. I think you are taking this way too personal. I do identify with you being a single mother. I have always loved and supported you beyond our skin color. Dr. Toussaint makes some good points. I am sorry if you feel some kind of way about me agreeing with him. The topic is about black women and crime. It would behoove those black women who are constantly using welfare as a crutch, to try and stand on their own. There is nothing like having your own; working towards your goals or seeing your visions come to pass. They have the same opportunities as anyone else if they would apply themselves just like you did; like we all have done. Also, technically I have African blood in me. My great-great grandmother’s father was a Moor; part of the West African empire of Kings and Queens. Although my skin is as white as snow, I know my history and I am proud of it.

Constance:
Kayla…wow! I had no idea. We have to explore this topic further on the show. Iona, are you okay?

Dr. Toussaint:
Iona, I didn’t state all black women were practicing this form of dependency. I try my best not to generalize. I am stating how welfare is pure mollification; especially for black women. It is used to disable folks. All I am saying is we can do better.

Iona: (Mumbles)
I am fine…just fine!

Constance:
Dr. Toussaint, I don’t agree with you because as a biracial woman we cannot go around blaming black women for everything. My mother is Caucasian and my father is African. He is from Ghana. My parents are still together. Yes, black women like all women, can make better choices in their lives. The world isn’t perfect. People make mistakes. Black men have to take responsibility as well for all these children out of wedlock. Why don’t you create some type of organization to help black men be better men? Iron does sharpen Iron.

Valeria:
Yeah but come on Constance. My parents are both Hispanic. My father is Puerto Rican and my mom is Cuban and African. In my family we get married. We don’t choose men who are losers and continue to have baby after baby with them. I can understand having 1 baby out of wedlock; that is a mistake. If you continue the same cycle; having 2, 3 then 5 that is a problem, NOT a mistake Constance. I concur with Dr. Toussaint. Welfare is a system set-up to pacify black women.

Dr. Toussaint:
I am working on teaming up with a few celebrities to form a national mentoring group for men. You’re right. We have to be part of the solution. I would like to co-sign on what Valeria articulated. The issue is black women raising their kids on their own. Why are they raising their kids own their own? If they are encouraged to use the gifts and talents that they were born with and mate with men who have a solid family structure, they won’t need welfare. They will be better off. They are destroying communities with this kind of practice they have now.

Trisha:
Well I am on the same team with Iona and Constance. I believe things are situational. There are more black women entrepreneurs; more black women educators and even more black women who are getting married yet you wish to focus on the negatives. Maybe you should publish more about that. There may be a percentage of black women who are crippling themselves with the welfare system but why is that your focus Dr. Toussaint? You have authored several books.  I recently started reading “Getting Dope in Hope” which is a really good book for young and old folks. You have a national syndicated television show. You are a well-known professor. What is it that you are really trying to accomplish? I don’t get it.

Dr. Toussaint:
With all due respect to you Trisha. May I ask what your nationality is? Unlike Valeria and Kayla, you, Constance and Iona don’t want to receive what I talking about. I thought I was very clear but I will make it cogently clear, again. Black single women who are welfare recipients are the number one reasons why there is so much crime in the black community. They select the wrong men to have babies with; therefore, their bad decisions spill over into bloodlines of crime and long-lasting poverty. I am concerned for this group of black women because I know they can do better. If we take welfare away they will have no choice of dependency but their own. I bet they will wait until they are married or select a suitor with the means to help them take care of their family.

Valeria:
The focus is not on men; it is black women. They are the ones who have the babies. They are the ones who decides to lay down with a man and have his baby. I agree black men should take care of their children 1000% but women are in control of their bodies. If you continue to practice bad behavior and you know you’re going to find yourself raising your children by yourself, why would you keep doing that! Black boys need a father as well as black girls. If the head is gone, the entire household falls apart as we have witnessed in the black community.

Trisha:
Dr. Toussaint, my mother is Asian and my father is African American. I identify mostly as a black American woman because those features are more visible in my appearance. I embrace all of my ancestry. There are so many different elements that go into black women laboring in their welfare status. I get that they are responsible for their own. The small populace who are on welfare have stories just like we do and we don’t know their story. It is easier said than done for you to tell someone to get off of welfare. Are you going to employ them? They need training and jobs if the government cuts them off of welfare. What is the plan?

Constance:
I knew it would happen! We have every phone line jumping off the ringer so we will get ready to talk to our audience. If you would be so kind to hang around for a few more hours to answer any questions Dr. Toussaint we would appreciate it.

Dr. Toussaint:
Absolutely. I look forward to speaking to all callers in hopes of bringing awareness. Thank you.

Iona:
I can’t wait to hear from you guys! Remember you can call in anonymous.
Tune in next time (February) to find out what the audience has to say about Dr. Toussaint. What do you think about it? Stay tuned! 

Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! 

Constance begins the Sister Circle in a proactive stance. Constance is adamant about preserving her son’s identity and culture in a positive way. She recently attended her husband’s family reunion and received a lot of negative comments from her in-laws for their biracial distinctiveness. Constance mother is African American and her father is Irish American. Constance son is biracial because Constance is mixed with black and white. Her husband is mixed with black and Mexican. Constance mother-in-law is Mexican American and her father-in-law is African American.

Constance:
When I was a little girl I was always called “white girl” by my black friends. My skin was really light as a child. I had long naturally curly hair. They teased me for that! As I’ve aged, I have more of a tan color and I straighten my hair. I tried my best to fit in. I didn’t understand why my peers felt like I had to choose. I am biracial! My white friends started treating me differently when they saw my mother was a black woman. I only felt accepted by those who were considered foreigners. I grew up going to school with all nationalities. I do not want my son to grow up thinking something is wrong with him because his parents decided to fall in love with each other. He is not black. He is not white. He is both. He is biracial. At my husband’s family reunion they were acting like they had a right to stigmatize my son’s identity. We really need to have a discussion about this. There are so many children and adults who suffer in silence. As a grown woman I am free. As a child I was not free because I did not understand it.

Iona:
Yes, I totally agree! As you know my dad was Italian American. My mom is black or African American, whichever you prefer to use. My dad passed away but I keep in contact with my grandmother. She is 100% Italian and she loves me and my kids to pieces. When I grew up I experienced this exact same thing in elementary school. I grew up in a black community. All the girls were jealous of me. My hair and skin texture was different from theirs and they had issues with me because it. I didn’t have any problems with the boys or young men growing up. It was always the females.  We moved to a predominantly white community when I went to high school. My social life got so much better. I get it Constance.

Valeria:
Okay, so Constance what exactly happened to you at the barbecue? I am also considered biracial, I guess. One of my parents is Puerto Rican and one is Cuban American. They are both Latinos. I have lived in my own community growing up. I didn’t feel like I ever had to choose between my mom’s side or my dad’s side of the family. There was nothing but love and acceptance on both sides. Iona do your kids ever tell you things about them being biracial?

Constance:
Well, from my experience if you are ignorant of other cultures you tend to fully show it. The folks at the family reunion insisted on calling my four year old son “black baby with the white curly hair” and I thought that was offensive. His name is Carter. The mentality some of them had was mind-blowing. During slavery time, if you had one drop of black blood in you they said you were black. This is a new day! I am teaching my son all of his ethnicity on all sides. I told them he is biracial. His bloodline consist of more than one race. If you want to label him please address him as that. He doesn’t have to choose if he doesn’t want to. If he professes to only be white he is denying his black side. If he states he is only black, he is rejecting his black side. I want him to feel comfortable with who he is.

Iona:
You know, my kids are in a diverse elementary school. I’ve taught them about their black history and Italian history. They have thick skin. I don’t believe they have encountered this issue. There is a lot of self-acceptance that I modeled for them at home. If my kids have had issues about being biracial they definitely would share it with me. The only thing I know about is the bullying that happened and that is in the past. I stopped it. Its sad people want to make you feel some kind of way about who you are because they have a problem with who they are. So Valeria, no to your question. My kids are good.

Kayla:
Both of my parents are European. I have never experienced this! I do have a cousin who married an African American man and their two sons have shared how they constantly get harassed for being black boys. They both consider themselves to be biracial. Some people can’t accept that. They want to define you when they don’t have the right to do that.

Iona:
What do you mean they get harassed for being black boys? Then you said they consider themselves biracial? I was a little confused by that. I agree with not allowing others to put you in a box. I always tell my son and daughter no one can define them. Don’t let anyone define you but you!

Kayla:
My cousin kids have a beautiful brown tan color. I would kill to have their skin color. It is so beautiful. I surmise to most folks they look like African American young men. Their hair is a different texture. One has straight hair and the other is curly. They look like they are mixed to me. You can tell they have black blood in them. Some of the people in their community and in their school call them “black boys” when they articulate they are biracial. I meant to say they don’t like people labeling them as "black boys" because they feel connected to both sides of their families.

Trisha:
That’s interesting that you would point that out. In the black community we usually can tell if a person is mixed or biracial. I don’t think in today’s age most adults have a problem with a person being biracial. I do remember when I was growing up, if you were biracial a lot more attention was focused on you. A lot of the boys and men wanted to date you. I think this is a teachable moment. This is why people should try to travel the world with their kids so they can experience other cultures. Small minds usually dwells in a decrease of information. The more you know the better your mind can breathe positivity. I disagree with a person having to choose. They should not have to pick sides but if your features look more African American then society will consider you a black man or black woman. 

Constance:
I don’t care what society thinks. I was told I look more like a white woman but I refuse to deny the blood in my veins that represent my mom’s side. I am a biracial woman and I am proud of that; both sides! No one has the authority to tell me how I should look, think or feel. There are things that I identify more with on my mom’s side. There are things I can relate to more on my dad’s side.  No one can make me choose. I want my son to have that same choice. I don’t care what I look like to you on the outside. That's your problem, not mines!

Trisha:
Thanks for saying that! What a powerful point! I don’t think we will ever get pass race on any subject. I think we have to get passed other folks expectations.

Iona:
I am always told I look like an exotic black woman. I don’t know what that means. Although I have two different ethnicities in my bloodline I identify more with my African American side of my family. I spent more time with that side. This does not mean I am denying my Italian side because I do not. I speak fluent Italian and Spanish. When my father passed away I stopped going around his side. A lot of his side of the family did not accept me as his child. My grandmother is a rock star. She always showed me love. I understand what you are saying Constance.

Kayla:
Actually, I honestly thought you were Latino Constance when I first met you!

Valeria:
Me too! Kayla you took the worlds right out of my mouth. I was just about to say that. I looked at your complexion and hair color. I just knew you were a Borinquen!

Constance:
Wait…is that why you were yelling BORICUA when I first met you (LOL).

Valeria:
Yes girl, Yes (LOL)! That was too funny.

Constance:
There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. I am grateful they accept you as you are. We are all mixed up with one race or another. Let’s tune in to see what our callers have to say on the subject. We all have some African blood in us. 

Tune in next time (August) to find out what the audience has to say. What do you think about Constance's mother-in-law? What would you do? 
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! The continuation from the last show (January 2018) begins as Valeria, Constance, Kayla, Trisha, Iona and Dr. Toussaint allow callers to call the show regarding Dr. Toussaint’s ideology that black women and their poor choices with men are destroying the black community.

Valeria:
Okay we are back from a short break. We have one of our very favorites as our first caller. Hello Mr. Zalvaski! You are very welcome to chat with us.

Iona:
Hey Mr. Zalvaski! Where have you been?
 
Mr. Zalvaski:
Hello ladies! I try calling in all the time Iona. Today was a successful day for me. I was able to get through the lines. I think this is a very uncomfortable conversation that we must have. I won’t give away my age but I grew up around the time of 1935. I have to say, I agree with a little bit of what all you fine folks have said. I am a Polish American man. I lived through the Great Depression in the 1930’s. Welfare was instituted after the Great Depression to help Americans get back on their feet. It was terrible. It really isn’t about race, it’s about class. Public assistance is for the poor and needy. If people need help we are supposed to help them! I was raised to help my fellow Americans if they need food, shelter and clothing! Now, if people want to take advantage of it, I don’t agree with that. I agree with Dr. Toussaint when he mentioned how God gives each and every one of us unique gifts and talents to help us better ourselves. If you don’t use the God-given talents you were blessed with, you might lose it. You might feel like you are stuck but you are not. You have to believe in your abilities. You have to take another chance, then another!
 
Dr. Toussaint:
Thank you very much for your comment Mr. Zalvaski. I wanted to know if you had something to say about black women and their dependence on public assistance. I kind of want to stick to the topic.
 
Mr. Zalvaski:
Sure well, I might not be able to give a lot of insight on black women and public assistance. I think I am a bit sheltered and secluded from that topic specifically. Most of the families I know who benefited from welfare the most are white and were white folks. I have lived side by side with black families and none of them are on welfare. I try to comment on what I know Dr. Toussaint. I do understand that a lot of folks want to comment so thank you ladies for allowing me this time. Good day sir!
 
Iona:
Thanks Mr. Zalvaski! You are always welcome to express yourself in how ever way you want to. I don’t think your comment was off topic considering your life experience. I bet your comment helped someone. Okay, our next caller is Marjorie. Marjorie you are very welcome to chat.
 
Marjorie:
I have two things to add. Number one, I agree 100% with Dr. Toussaint and Mr. Zalvaski. I can only go by my own experience because I do not wish to comment otherwise. I was married and my husband passed away unexpectedly. I was left with four children to raise alone. I was instantly a single mother. I was devastated. My husband was the breadwinner. I worked in education. My schedule was perfect because when my kids at my school got out I was able to pick up my own kids from their school. The insurance money played a major role in us being able to live in our home comfortably. I was able to pay all of the bills and put aside money for our children’s college education. I was a little short with money for food so I had to apply for public assistance to feed my family. I stayed on public assistance for about 3 years. I don’t understand how some people can endure it longer than that. Some of the people in those places often mistreat the recipients but that is another topic. I started tutoring a few students at my school and that turned into a business. I own my own tutoring company and I employ about 20 other people. I used the gifts and talents God blessed me with to help others and myself. I needed the service but I did not stay on it. I wanted better for my life and my kids. I sacrifice my time and talents and it paid off big time. Yes, I believed in myself.  
 
Trisha:
That is an awesome, amazing story. You are an inspiration! Thank you Marjorie for calling in.
 
Marjorie:
I do understand we are pressed for time but I also wanted to add how I employed two of the women who were on welfare for years. They were very bright ladies. They work for me now and they are getting their degrees in education. The other thing I wanted to add was concerning Dr. Toussaint. I really felt that you were a little undiplomatic to Mr. Zalvaski. Please watch yourself.
 
Dr. Toussaint:
Now, that is what I am talking about. How did that come about; you employing the two young ladies that were on public assistance? I do agree with you about Mr. Zalvaski and will do better.
 
Marjorie:
I was tutoring their daughters at my school and working on an exit plan to get my own thing together. I am very sociable so I would try to have a little gathering at the school to encourage the parents to get more involved with their children academically. I met them at one of our gatherings and got to know their situations. Ironically these two women were drowning in their own pain. They were having babies with relentless men and lived unstable lives. I saw something in them. They wanted something better. I pushed them into the greatness that was already there. (Pauses)…Sorry, I get so emotional when I talk about this. One thing led to the next and here we are.
 
Valeria:
We wish you much success! Okay time is ticking and we have so many callers who want to comment. Next up is Douglas. Hey Douglas. You are very welcome to chat, my brother!
 
Douglas:
Thank you very much. I will keep my comment short and sweet. I agree with Kayla. I think Iona was very unprofessional to state that Kayla could not comment because she is a white woman. Whether you like it or not, everyone is entitled to comment. It is their opinion. Iona you really need to apologize for dissing her on the air like that.
 
Kayla:
Thanks Douglas for your support and comment! We have another caller. I hope I am pronouncing your name right. Is it Yeeki or it is Yeki. Okay, Thanks Constance. Yeki you are welcome to chat.
 
Yeki:
Yes, hello sisters! I am from Nigeria. I don’t understand some of these American women. In my country we don’t allow this. It is very rare to find a woman without her husband. We believe in marriage first. I agree with Valeria. I don’t understand how or why an American black woman will continue to allow herself to be used and abused by men and dependent on a welfare system that keeps her lowly. Sisters, you have the power to rise!
 
Trisha:
Thank you so much for your comment Yeki. We have a Robert patiently waiting to speak. You are welcome to chat Robert.
 
Robert:
I agree with Dr. Toussaint. I have a cousin who does exactly what he talked about. She wasn’t raised to depend on public assistance. All of my aunts, sisters and other female family members do not agree with her lifestyle. It’s not like she hasn’t had the best examples. We try to help her get jobs and to better her environment but she will NOT take our help. She has 5 kids by five different men. She is only twenty-six. None of the men are in their life. It’s disgusting and it hurts us as a family. Some people like what they do. Some people don’t want any help.
 
Dr. Toussaint:
It sounds like she is depressed. Is she abusing some type of drug?
 
Robert:
Nope. People always ask that. Well, not to my knowledge. I believe she got hooked up with the wrong group of people. There are certain black women who bring their own communities down with their choices and behavior. It may not be you but it is out there. Dr. Toussaint is right.  My cousin is very smart. She can draw her but off. She loves her lifestyle.
 
Iona:
Well if she is depressed that is the reason why she is acting out. We really don’t know but we have another caller.
 
Justine:
Hello my name is Justine. I am fifteen. My mom needs help. I was wondering if Dr. Toussaint can help me…well my family. My mom is on public assistance. She has a lot of issues. I believe she wants to do better but she needs some kind of help. I am the oldest of three other kids. I believe in a lot of what Dr. Toussaint has said because I live it every day and I am tired of it.
 
Dr. Toussaint:
Justine, please don’t say anything else on the air. I am going to call you after the show and see what I can do. I am certain to get you some help. Don’t hang up.
 
Valeria:
Yes, don’t hang up sweetheart! We are going to help you. Please hold on for a few seconds and we will get all of your information.
 
Justine: (Crying nervously)
Okay…okay! Thank you all so much!
 
Constance:
You never know what can happen and what kind of callers we will encounter on this show. Kayla thank you so much for taking down his information and using your expertise to further assistance Justine. We have another caller. China Doll, you are very welcome to chat.
 
China Doll:
I just want to say that as a black woman, we represent and work hard. Not all of us are on public assistance. Not all of us depend on a MAN! We work with our men to build with them and to help them grow higher if we have them in our life! We represent a wealth of women who are not dependent on a system that was not created for us. We are independent women; independently driven to make a difference in our communities. We do it every day! Thanks!
 
Iona:
Right on sister soldier! I feel her! We have to keep this passion going. BJ you are up. You are very welcome to chat BJ.
 
BJ:
I feel very welcome when you say it like that Iona. I just want to co-sign on what the last caller said. I believe her name was China Doll. It is very important on a platform like this, that we emphasize the relevance of black women who are shaping their communities and lives in a positive way. Black women represent very well. I understand Dr. Toussaint stance on those black women who choose not to use their gift and talents to live in their purpose.
 
Iona:
Is it me or was BJ getting his flirt on with me. Thanks for calling in BJ. Tony you are very welcome to chat, my brother!
 
Tony:
I know the topic is about black women and the bad choices they make. I really enjoyed listening to the woman who called earlier. She was able to not only build her business but she also pulled two other ladies up with her. Maybe this is something you can start doing Dr. Toussaint. You talk a lot about these women but to me you haven’t giving a lot of solutions other than them using their God-given talents. That is not good enough. What are you doing? What have you done?
 
Dr. Toussaint:
Thank you for your comment Tony. I am working on solutions that would help these particular women understand how they have the power to change their own lives.
 
Kayla:
We have to keep it moving as we only have about 45 minutes left in our show. Hello Nicholas, you are very welcome to chat.
 
Nicholas:
Dr. Toussaint might be on to something. I know a lot of females black and white who fit his description. All they want to do is party and have babies by men who are no good for them. The areas they live in are infested with high crime, drugs and domestic violence. As someone said earlier, some folks don’t want help.
 
Valeria:
Thank you Nicholas. Musa you’re up next. You are very welcome to chat.
 
Musa:
All I know is those type of black women are good for business. Hey, they’re not the only people in America who use and abuse the system. What about corporate welfare. What about criminal welfare and spiritual welfare. I pray it never stops. They keep my pockets fat; in the clubs and on these streets. Peace!
 
Iona:
Well, Musa is a big time narcotics dealer. I bet that is not even his real name. Lord have mercy! Charisa you’re up next. You are welcome to chat!
 
Charisa:
I just want to say to any of the black women who are listening to this show that you are somebody. I was a young girl who lived off of welfare for years. My grandmother was on it, my aunts and mom was on it so I joined the club. I had 3 kids before I was 21. I am now 31. I changed the history of my bloodline and you can do it to. If you are hurting and want to move forward with a new life please give me a call. I am part of an organization that works to help reform you. I will leave my number with one of the sisters off air. Thank you.
 
Trisha:
I really like the fact that we have a wide audience of callers who are being part of the solution. This is what it is all about. Thanks guys! Lerone you are very welcome to chat with us.
 
Lerone:
I was calling in to commend all those callers who are offering assistance to the listeners which is more than Dr. Toussaint has done. He seems to be all talk and no solutions.
 
Iona:
I can’t say I disagree but our next caller is Erica. You are very welcome to chat Erica.
 
Erica:
I have to say I disagree with the folks who insist on saying that people don’t want to get help and like what they are doing. That makes no sense! If these individual black women have mental issues or deep depression they are not in their right judgment to say that they don’t need your help. They don’t know what they need. I understand you can’t make a person do anything but this does not mean give up on them!
 
Dr. Toussaint:
No…no…no! We will never give up on them Erica!
 
Kayla:
Thank you for your comment Erica. Zyiar is on the line. You are welcome to chat with us.
 
Zyiar:
I agree with Valeria. If you continue doing something stupid like having babies by men who don’t love you enough to help you raise your kids you deserve what you get. Black women who allow this get what they put out into the world. It is their own fault!
 
Valeria:
I don’t agree with all of that Zyiar. You seem rather young but you are entitled to your opinion. Tremesa you are welcome to chat.
 
Tremesa:
It is not about giving up on black women. This is about those black women who make their communities hard to live in by continuing a bad pattern. It is about them taking responsibility for their own actions. It is about them growing up. Earlier a young boy name Justine was breaking down crying because of his mother’s trifling lifestyle. I hope they are listening to this show because they need to do better.
 
Trisha:
Thanks Tremesa for commenting. We have another caller Mr. Lord. You are very welcome to chat with us.
 
Lord:
It is Lord not Mr. Lord, just Lord please and thank you. I just want to say that our black women are hurting. They are the most disrespected and neglected group of women in America. Dr. Toussaint is doing nothing but trying to bring them down. Dr. Toussaint is exploiting them not helping them. America has way too much dirty laundry than a few black women hooked on a welfare system that they purposely created to enslave the black woman.

Iona:
Well, Dr. Toussaint says he does not want to comment behind Lord. We have all of our lines overheating. Kendra you are up girl. You are welcome to chat. Kemaa is going to call in next watch. I know my callers.
 
Kendra:
What’s up Iona and hello to all of the sisters. I don’t agree with Dr. Toussaint. I think your focus is way off. I believe we live in a rich country. America has money. America is not going to crash because a few black women are doing what they have been trained to do; abuse and destroy.
 
Iona:
Thank you Kendra. Kemaa is on the line. You know they are twins right? Kemaa go soft on us. You are welcome to chat.
 
Kemaa:
We are becoming the land of liberty in mass shootings. We kill, still and destroy lives with mass shooting yet Dr. Toussaint is concerned about a small percent of black women who are dependent on public assistance. What kind of legislation do you propose to help fix a welfare system? The poor and needy will always be with us. Boy Bye! I don’t agree with you!
 
Valeria:
Thank you Kemaa. We have Mya on the line. You are very welcome to chat Mya.
 
Mya:
I hope a change can come where we as a society can help people instead of harming people and belittling people. I think everyone’s voice should be respected.
 
Iona:
Thank you Mya! We only have a few minutes left. You are welcome to chat Annatelya. Your name is so pretty.
 
Annatelya:
I agree with Valeria! Iona I do not like what you said to Kayla either.
 
Kayla:
Thanks for your comment. Please call again Annatelya! We have a Romeo. You are very welcome to chat.
 
Romeo:
Some of you are so full of contradiction. If Iona feels that Kayla has no background knowledge to comment on black women then that is her choice to say. If we are going to respect one another’s opinion, let’s do it then. I think a human being is able to comment on any topic and give their opinion. If you agree or disagree, let’s agree to do that respectfully. As a people and as a country, we all need to get our stuff together.
 
Constance:
Thank you Romeo. We have to keep it moving as we only have a few minutes. Some folks may not be able to comment. Sorry guys. This topic has a huge audience. Lil Mama you are up. You are welcome to chat after Donald. Go ahead Donald.
 
Donald:
What was that last caller talking about? Can we please stay on the topic? I think those black women who are using and abusing welfare are making their communities go down. I agree with Dr. Toussaint. They really need to wake up!
 
Lil Mama:
I want to let the audience know that I was on public assistance for five years. I had two kids at the time but I was also in a program that was helping me pay for my education. I agree with Dr. Toussaint. I did want to have a healthier life for me and my kids. I had a lot of support and plenty of prayer. I made a mistake of having babies by two men who didn’t care less about me. I didn’t love myself. Now I adore me. Thank you.
 
Trisha:
Thanks you Lil Mama and Donald. We will continue to try to take as many calls as we can. Barry will be up next and then following him will be Sushae. You both are welcome to chat.
 
Barry:
You know what, out of all of the callers and comments Lil Mama hit a homerun to me. She said she had a lot of support and a lot or prayer surrounding her. That is my comment!
 
Sushae:
Hello…am I on the air? Oh, okay, well my comment is that I do not agree with Dr. Toussaint. There is more things in the world to fight against than black women on welfare. I also would like to say to Iona that Kayla or anyone else has the right to their opinion whether you agree to it or not. You let your personal feelings make you look very foolish.
 
Kayla:
Thank you to Barry and Sushae. Up next we have Carolyn and Tnukema on the lines. You are very welcome to chat with us. Please make it quick as we are going off the ear in a few more minutes.
 
Carolyn:
I think supporting all of our young women who feel that they are stuck on a system that gets them nowhere is the key. Prayer can never hurt either. I would like to offer my social services to any young women who want my help. I will leave my number with one of the sisters off the air as well. Thank you.
 
Tnukema:
I am thankful for this platform. I agree with Dr. Toussaint but most importantly I understand it is not hard to leave a lifestyle you have succumbed to all of your life. I pray that individuals who need help will receive it and those with solutions will step up more. Thank you.
 
Constance, Iona, Valeria, Trisha, Kayla:
That wraps up our Circle. Please join us next week (April 2018) for our next Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats!

Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! 

Trisha starts off the Circle with a request from her sister who recently ended a long-term relationship due to her ex cheating on her. She spent 8 years of her life with her ex-husband. Trisha’s sister joined a support group to help her deal with her issues. She blamed herself for the failure of her second marriage. Trisha wants to know whether or not she should confide in her best friend about her boyfriend cheating on her.

Trisha:
Today we are going to discuss the subject of cheating. Yes, so get ready! My sister is responsible for the topic of today. Let me state, we are not trying to solve why people cheat. Please listen carefully and make your comments after you hear all of the information; especially YOU Iona.

Iona, Constance, Valeria and Kayla: (All nod with a head gesture of okay)

Trisha:
As you know, my sister does not want her name on the show. We will call her Lady LJ. Those are the initials of her name. Lady LJ is no stranger to the pain and sorrow of cheating. She can share her story with you better than I can. Welcome my sister, Lady LJ.

Lady LJ:
Hello to all the Sisters and to the audience listening. I was in a relationship for 8 years with a man I loved. He was my best friend. We shared lots of things in common together. We also had things we did not have in common. We balanced each other out perfectly. At least this is what I thought…

Iona: (Interrupts)
Girl, please don’t tell me he was on the down low and you caught him in the bed or shower with another dude?

Lady LJ:
Noooo, but Iona, you’re been very rude. Can I please speak my peace?

Iona:
Sorry! I’m just a firecracker ready to pop all over this subject!
 
Lady LJ: (Smiling)
Thank you! This is rather long so please be patient with me as I give you a little bit about my background and why I came on the show for help. As I was saying, we were perfect for each other. I got a promotion on my job a year after we were married. The new position required me to travel 3 days out of the week, monthly. I talked it over with my husband at the time. He was fine with it. It was only once a month. Sometimes I would be out of town on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Other times it would be early in the week. I knew something was off. Something had changed but I didn’t want to listen to that small voice that kept telling me to be careful. We were together for two years before we decided to move in together. We married after a year. We both have kids from previous marriages. His son was away at school and my two girls were just starting college; all grown and on their own. I started smelling different fragrances of perfume in our home. I would find lipsticks and hair pens that did not belong to me. I didn’t say anything to my husband about it. I was slowly deteriorating inside knowing he was cheating on me in our house each time I went out of town for work.

When I would call him he would tell me how much overtime he was working on his job. When I was home it seemed like he would pick fights with me purposely to get out of taking me out. We used to always enjoy each other’s company and go out. I was in disbelief because I loved him. I thought we were going to grow old together. He was so sloppy with his affairs. After 3 years of living a complete lie, I set him up with the help and support of my girlfriends. One of my friends was a professional photographer. I had one who worked at the airlines. Another one of my friends was my neighbor who became one of my very good friends. She saw everything!

One day I told my husband I was going to be out of town for 3 days. I did my usual routine. I told him my flight information; departure and arrival times with hotel stay. I gave him all of my numbers. I let him see me packing, just like normal. I didn’t go out of town. I stayed close by with the help of my three girlfriends. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. One Friday night I saw one girl go into our home. She stayed for about 8 hours. She came around 6pm and left in the wee hours of the morning. My girlfriend took pictures of the young lady as she entered and as she exited. The next time was on a Saturday. I saw another lady come over around the same time. This particular lady stayed the night and went home late in the morning the next day Sunday. This was his routine. I was schedule to be back home Sunday evening so I had my girlfriend drive me back to the airport so that my husband could pick me up. He picked me up and I tried my best to be normal. I was numb so I pulled it off. The following week I confronted him with all of my evidence. I think it was on a Tuesday. I left him. I filed for divorce and haven’t looked back since.

The issue is, the same thing is happening to one of my girlfriends who is my best friend. I don’t want to be biased but her man is cheating on her. I moved to a community where my best friend’s boyfriend lives. I live right across from him in a Townhouse. He knows I live nearby. My best friend told him. I’ve even been to his place occasionally when they’ve thrown parties at his house. He is arrogant and not very smart to cheat on her knowing I live a few houses down from him. I don’t know if I should tell her. When she was trying to tell me about my husband I ignored her. I got really mad at her even though I knew the truth. I didn’t want to hear it. It hurt badly. It’s ineffable. I can’t even explain the pain. I would like to know if I should tell my best friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Should I not say anything and let her find out on her own? What should I do?

Iona:
This is a very hard question. I am speechless! You know that doesn’t happen often. Your husband was a low-down dirty dog. He had no shame…no conviction! I can hear him barking right now. His kind of behavior is totally disgusting. As much as I loathe men and women who are cheaters, I honestly do not know if I would tell my best friend her man is cheating on her if I was in your state. I also don’t believe you are healed from your own adultery. The situation is a bit different because you were married to your husband. Your friend is not. Men don’t see dating as closing their options. Women will give their all in a relationship even when there is no promise of marriage. We need to stop doing that! Even if a man is in a so-called committed relationship he is not married to the woman. This is how some men think. I need more time for this one.

Constance:
As a married woman who use to be single, I don’t see a difference. I think you should tell your friend. If my husband or boyfriend is cheating on me with multiple women I could very well contract a venereal disease. I understand some women will get upset because you really DO NOT know what you will do in those types of situations. I personally would want to know! I have thought about what I’d do if it happen to me many times. I also discussed it with my husband. I expressed to him that infidelity is something I am not willing to compromise on. I told him I can compromise and sacrifice on anything else but that! If he is willing to risk it all he will lose me. My friends and family understand I would want to know if they saw my husband cheating.

Kayla:
If you feel strongly convicted to tell your best friend, then I say warn her. You have to prepare yourself for the consequences, positive or negative if you open Pandora’s Box. I personally would forgive my husband the first time if he cheated. Studies have shown that in some marriages, infidelity helped to strengthen couples after adultery. It is possible to get pass the hurt and mistrust. If both parties are willing to save their marriage it can happen.

Iona:
In what world Kayla? I disagree 1000%. I know this topic is part of your professional expertise but you basically just told the world it was okay to cheat one time because women will forgive you. Just don’t do it twice. Naw, do not do it at all. It’s called self-control! Women have to know their worth!

Lady LJ:
I also disagree with you Kayla. I don’t think any women should accept a man cheating. It should never be allowed in my book. If we are in a committed monogamous relationship, no!

Kayla:
Well, Iona that is your prerogative to disagree. I said I would forgive MY HUSBAND! I am not telling the entire world that. Please don’t take what I say out of context. People are not perfect. Marriages are not perfect either. In a marriage, sometimes you might let your spouse down. The reality is we all need grace and mercy. I would forgive it one time and one time ONLY! I have no qualms about stating that. My husband knows how I feel. Also, there are women and men who do get pass infidelity and their marriages are better.

Valeria:
What is done in the dark will come to light every time. My abuela always said that. Wrong does not last for long. I personally would not tell my best friend her man/boyfriend is a liar and a cheater. I am also the type that would not want anyone telling me about my man. I believe I would feel differently if my friend was married because that is a covenant with God. I take that a bit more seriously. If it was me I would eventually find out. No one has to tell me. I would mind my own business. Your best friend will find out just like you did. You were not ready to receive the truth, but you knew it, Lady LJ.

Lady LJ:
You’re absolutely correct Valeria. The truth did hurt! I don’t want my friend going through that. I am not interested in dating right now. I am never getting married again. I don’t hate all men. I do believe there are good men out there. My husband gave me a few diseases that I thankfully was able to get rid of with medication. I am against cheating; getting cheated on or being the cheater.

Iona:
Why did you stay with him for 3 years after finding out he was cheating on you every time you went out of town. I am not trying to judge you. I need to know why! Do you think he was cheating on you before you got promoted? There is no way I will stay with a man that long if I have concrete evidence that he is cheating on me. No way! Why do women feel such obligation toward trying to keep something together that is falling apart? Incidentally, LJ it is not your fault. He has a problem. Try your best not to blame yourself. Oops, girl I almost said your real name.
​
Lady LJ:
I concede I was stupid and in love with my husband. I didn’t want to believe the truth just like Valeria said. I was married for 15 years prior to my second husband. I never thought I’d re-marry again but I found love. I still love my ex-husband but I am not in love with him. I felt like I did something wrong; like it was my fault for not being sweet enough, pretty enough and not worthy of his love. I thought I wasn’t good enough for him. Why did he cheat on me? This is the question that kept racing through my mind. My self-esteem was very love. I am reclaiming it daily. I was faithful, I was a great cook, I was understanding. I was submissive and independent. I was loyal to him. I was his helper in every way. I kept our house clean. I didn’t’ want to be by myself. I certainly didn’t want to go through another divorce. It has been five months since my divorce. I don’t want my best friend to ever go through this; no women! I’ve been in therapy and it is going to take time for me to completely heal. I guess I don’t have all the answers to your questions Iona. What I will say is I blame no one but myself. As women we have to empower each other. It’s okay to be alone if you have to be; if you chose to be!

Trisha:
We really need to get to our callers. I have people texting me on my cell asking me when we are going to open up our lines for callers to call in. Please remember our topic. What would you do if someone you know is being cheated on? Would you tell them? What would you do? My sister needs advice. Although my sister shared her background about cheating, this really is not about her. Her story is rather interesting. This is about her best friend. I personally would not mind my own business like Valeria would. I would tell my best friend and allow her the choice of what to do with the information.

Iona:
I think I would want to know whether married or single. I am still undecided as to whether I would tell my best friend or any of my friends if their girl or guy is cheating on them. I would let the cheater know I am aware of what they are doing by letting them see me and saying hello to them.

Constance:
I would also want to know. I have talked to family and friends about this topic. They understand that no matter how hard the information, I want to know. There are some friend who told me they would want to know. They had me promise to tell them. There are a few friends who told me they would not want to know. Audience what do you guys think? What would you do if you were in in Lady LJ’s shoes? What you tell your friend her man is a cheater?

Valeria:
This is definitely heavy stuff. Let’s talk to our callers to see who agrees or disagrees with telling your best friend or any friend their significant other is cheating on them. Do you mind your own business or would you say something?

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! The continuation from the last show (April 2018) begins as Valeria, Constance, Kayla, Trisha, Iona and Trisha’s sister, Lady LJ take calls from their audience. 
 
Trisha:
Okay we are back from a short break. In light of this being a red hot topic, we will try our best to get to as many callers as possible. We welcome multiple calls from the same household or facility if at all possible. Thank you!

Iona:
Our producers are telling me we have our first callers, Terri and Sushae. Welcome ladies, you are very welcome to chat. Terri will go first then Sushae.

Terri:
This is for Lady LJ. Chances are, your best friend already knows something is up with her guy! A lot of times our confirmation is waiting on US to make a move. I think you should stay out of it completely.

Sushae:
I don’t agree with Terri. I always want to know so please tell me all the details if you see my husband tricking off with another. I say tell your friend. Women need to stick together. Especially married women.

Iona:
Thanks ladies for your input! I do think women should stick together but that is another topic for another day. Up next is one of our favorite callers, yes Mr. Zalvaski. You are very welcome to chat sir.

Mr. Zalvaski:
Hello to all of the ladies of the Circle! Let me first say how much I love my wife, my honey. We’ve been through 67 years of marriage. We have a legacy of love including 8 children and 23 grandchildren. I’ve never cheated on Mrs. Zalvaski. Sure, I’ve had opportunities where I probably could have. I don’t believe she has ever cheated on me. Even when I was dating her, I was faithful. I don’t believe in cheating. I never put myself in a position to compromise that. I am not lucky, I am blessed! I prayed for self-control and asked the good lord to help me love my wife the way he wanted me to. There are no perfect individuals. There are no perfect marriages. Relationships are about overcoming together as a team; whatever the test. I don’t believe in getting in the middle of other folks business. I agree with Valeria. It will all come to the light. Thank you for your time ladies.

Valeria:
Oh, how I love Mr. Zalvaski! Thank you so much! We always love hearing from you. We have the next caller, I mean we have two more callers up next. Fred and Leon, you are up brothers. You are most certainly welcome to chat.

Fred:
Valeria makes the most sense out of all of the sisters. Lady LJ, you said and I quote “I knew something was different. Something had changed.” You knew but YOU chose to ignore it. I agree with Valeria. Mind your own business. Your best friend will eventually find out.

Leon:
I co-sign on what Frederick said. He is a regular on this show. It’s my first time. Lady LJ, do you even know what type of relationship your best friend has with her guy? Is she engaged to him? Is it an open relationship? Please remember that women are NOT innocent!

Lady LJ:
Yes, they are in a serious, monogamous relationship; at least she is with him.

Fred & Leon:
YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!

Lady LJ:
She told me they are talking about getting married. She is crazy in love with him! Stop trying to change the narrative. This is about him cheating not her!

Valeria:
Thank you for being a first time caller Leon. Thank you for your comment Fred. Up next is a woman by the name of Lil Mama. You are welcome to chat Lil Mama.

Lil Mama:
I agree with Constance! It should not make a difference; married or single. Cheating is cheating. You have to learn how to be faithful in a relationship first. If you can’t handle a committed relationship you surely will not be able to handle marriage. It is called preparation. Also, working overtime is the #1 reason and evidence of a man or woman cheating. I say tell your best friend so she can do better.

Constance:
My husband never questioned me when I use to work overtime. I was actually taking care of business so all people who work overtime do not cheat on their mates. Thank you for your comment Lil Mama.

Iona:
We have a Brianetta waiting patiently on the line. Hello Brianetta, you are very welcome to chat girl!

Brianetta:
Thank you! I feel like I’ve been waiting for hours. There is no way I would be silent if I lived close to my best friend’s man and saw him with multiple women. Noop, I am telling. I will not mind my own business. It’s too dangerous! Tell your best friend Lady LJ. Tell her!

Kayla:
BJ and I believe, Annatelya are up next. You guys are very welcome to chat. Oh, and thanks Brianetta for your comment.

BJ:
I’m going to say, mind yo’ business Lady LJ! If women were not so wretched we wouldn’t have other women to cheat with. Most of my friends who have cheated did it with their girl’s friend or a family member. It was someone close to them or who they already knew. Do yourself a big favor and stay out of it. A player can’t play unless he is allowed to and women allow it corporately.

Annatelya:
Why is it anybody’s business what goes on in another person’s bedroom? It is not illegal. He isn’t married to your best friend. I agree with Iona when she said that men equate not being married as still single, even if they are in a relationship. Girl mind your own business.

Lady LJ:
Thanks for your comment Annatelya. I don't think I will be minding my own business!

Trisha:
We have an anonymous caller. Anonymous you are very welcome to chat.

Anonymous:
Kayla is correct! I was married for 20 years when I cheated on my husband and family. I felt terrible about it. My husband forgave me and he never threw it up in my face. He let it go. We moved forward! It wasn’t easy but we did it! My affair did make our marriage better. Some people might not like it but to each his own. I am thankful for the husband I have. He could have asked for a divorce. We worked it all out!

Kayla:
Thank you so much anonymous. I really appreciate you sharing that. I wish you guys the best!

Iona:
Okay, moving on, whatever. Next is Mr. Toussaint. Hey Mr. Toussaint, you are very welcome to chat.

Mr. Toussaint:
I just want to give a thumps up to what Valeria said. I liked her response. I would like to take her out to dinner one day! I agree with her. Lady LJ your best friend will find out on her own.

Iona:
Are you serious? You’re going to ask her out like that? This is so funny. Dude you are bold! Thank you for your comment. Constance can you take these last two callers.

Constance:
Okay, that was unexpected (LOL) but we have Alberto and Ms. Flame holding. They are not together. These are two separate calls. Ladies and gentlemen you are very welcome to chat.

Kayla:
Where did Valeria go all of a sudden (LOL)?

Ms. Flame:
Iona acts like she has never been in love before! When Lady LJ graciously admitted that she was in disbelief about her man cheating on her because she loved her ex-husband, it seemed foreign to Iona. When you are in love with another person love makes us behave and act differently; good or bad. Iona, you have 2 kids by a man so I would hope you could at least try to empathize with her struggling to tell her friend about him cheating on her. If it is heavy on your mind Lady LJ, I think you should tell your best friend.

Alberto:
I disagree with cheating! Mr. Zalvaski was laying down the law. A man has to learn self-control and self-discipline in every aspect of his life; career, character, and in relationships. It does not matter if he is married or single. If he hasn’t mastered it while he was single it won’t get better as a husband. I’ve been dating the same woman for 2 ½ years. I made a commitment to be exclusive with her. We both agreed. I don’t want no one else but her. I plan to marry her soon. I have temptations just like the next man but as Mr. Zalvaski have stated, I don’t put myself in a situation for it to interrupt my goals of staying faithful. Ladies, there are men out here who want you and ONLY YOU. Please know and believe that! Never say never Lady LJ. If you feel that you should tell your friend Lady LJ, tell her. If she does not receive you, at least you warned her. Thank you ladies!
 
Lady LJ: (Smiling)
Thank you so much Alberto for saying that! I don't think I want to be married again, I'm good!

Kayla, Constance, Iona, Valeria and Trisha:
That wraps up our Circle. Please join us next week (July) for our next Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats! Thanks for chatting with us!
​
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! 

Iona starts off the circle by discussing her exasperation with her new female neighbor’s active lifestyle. They live next to each other in their upscale condominium building. Iona states that her female neighbor has a different boyfriend every week. It is hard for her to sleep at night in light of her neighbor’s sexual activity. ​

Iona:
Welcome to our Sister Circle! I am delighted to start off the chat today. I recently got a new neighbor in my condo building. She is around the same age as I am. She has no kids but I do. I am very frustrated with her because she has a new boyfriend every week. I am subjected to hearing all of their personal business at night. It’s so irritating!

Trisha:
I believe most folks can relate to this. I remember experiencing the same thing when I was single and dating my husband. There was a man and woman who lived in my apartment building and they hooked up with each other often. It was such a bad ending when they broke up. I wasn’t the only one complaining about them. Several other neighbors also felt their displeasure because they would go back and forth to each other's place at night. We were all stuck in the middle of their apartments. Luckily the girl abruptly moved out. There were rumors of some infidelity. All I know is there was so much more peace when she left because he left a few months after the young lady. I am praying for you Iona. I totally empathize.

Iona:
Okay…but wait…you said you were dating your husband back then? So what did he think about the situation. I’m just curious about a man’s perspective. I don’t know what I would do if I had to deal with two of them. 

Trisha:
Yes, I was dating my husband. He always remained neutral as he listened to me. He didn’t like it. We always tried our best to be mindful of others when we had our special time together or we would go to a hotel. I appreciate being able to have my own home where I have more space. I dislike being wall to wall with others. Certain walls are so thin when they are linked together. You can hear everything.  

Kayla:
I am surprised you didn’t say something to your neighbor Iona. I don’t like to assume so if you did confront her, what was the outcome. I can relate to this. I’ve had this happen to me multiple times as an unmarried single woman. I use to just turn up my television or get my earplugs and listen to my music.

Iona:
Yes, Kayla, you know I did! I confronted her. I verbally spoke to her about the situation. I sent her text messages. I tried all the loud music and television. It didn’t get me anywhere. I even told her how I have to get up early to get my kids ready for school. It seemed to slow down a bit for a while, and then she started it back up again. She is a nice person but I don’t like her behavior. I think it is so disrespectful towards me and my kids to keep asking her to tone it down. As neighbors we do look out for one another but her lifestyle is terrible.
 
Kayla:
What did she say when you mentioned it to her?

Iona:
Of course she acted like she was going to comply. She said thanks for letting her know and “will do” like everything was okay. We verbally got into it once before because I told her that I felt she was being very disrespectful. She didn’t think she was because she replied…how. I told her I didn’t want to hear her personal business every night with her gentleman company.  Most of my neighbors that live in our condo are all members and we pay to live there peacefully. She is the only one who interacts this way. THE ONLY ONE!

Valaria:
Unfortunately I can also relate Iona. I use to live by a police officer who was a bachelor and experienced the exact same thing. I lived in a townhome at the time. The walls were very thin and every time he had relations I was able to hear it. I only mentioned it to him one time and I noticed after that, he started making sure he was a lot quieter.  I know my case is rare so I really wish you the best girl! 

Constance:
Iona, why won’t you complain to the association? There should be some kind of stipulations for disturbing the peace at night. I understand she has a right to live there; to do and go as she pleases but you live in that building too. You also have rights. I would go straight to management. I am so grateful I don’t have to go through that anymore. It is a blessing to have your own home where you don’t have to be too close to other people as Trisha stated.

Iona:
I really didn’t want to go that route. I may have to. We will have to go before the board and then probably mediation if it is not resolved. I will have to take off work. I really don’t have the time. 

Constance:
Well you tried to talk to the girl! I mean, what else is left! She acts like she is looking for love in all the wrong places. No woman should allow her temple to be used and abused like that.

Kayla:
What do you mean by that Constance? If a man is sexually free to express himself with his sexuality it is no big deal but as soon as a woman does it, it’s a problem? This world has too many double standards. I would love to hear what our callers have to say.

Iona:
Um…well the lines are totally rocking off the hook. Thanks for that viewpoint Kayla. 

Kayla:
You got it! No problem.         
                                                                   
Constance:                                       
Kayla, sweetie there is no double standard with me. I am a mother of a little boy. I am raising him to respect his body and all women at an early age. In my opinion, I don’t think it is healthy or safe for anyone; women or men to have different people in and out of their bedroom doors every week as stated by Iona in her situation. 

Iona:
Every week…everyday….I mean this chick changes men like the wind.
​
Kayla:
Lets listen to what all of our callers have to say about very active neighbors. Are you one of them or have you been affected by one? Remember you can chat anonymous.

Tune in next time (October) to find out what the audience has to say. What do you think? What would you do? Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed of all the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! The continuation from the last show (September 2017) begins as Constance, Kayla, Trisha, Valeria and Iona allow callers to call the show regarding Iona’s issues with her new neighbor. 

Constance:
Okay we are back from a short break. I believe we do have our first caller. We have a brother by the name of Alberto. Hello Alberto, you are very welcome to chat.

Alberto:
First of all, hello to all the beautiful ladies of the Circle and to those who are listening. There is no way around a man not enjoying the excitement and fun of knocking the boots with his lady. I certainly do empathize with you Iona but on the other hand, what is the young lady in question supposed to do? Maybe you can have a conversation with your neighbor and ask her if the two of you can set some type of schedule. That way, when she wants to have company over, you will know it and you can make arrangements not to be at home. She can make arrangements to have her quality time with her boo when you are not home. Keep in mind that the fact of you having kids should matter but it really doesn’t. I mean, it is her home too. 

​Iona:
Well considering all of her company creeps into her house late at night, I don’t think an arrangement is possible. I disagree with you concerning my kids but I respect your opinion. Thank you for calling in. 

Constance:
Alberto, are you still there? Why should Iona attempt to make any arrangements with her neighbor? She already expressed to her how it is affecting her and her household. She has already communicated how her behavior is disturbing Iona’s peace. I understand it is her residence too but as neighbors, shouldn’t we respect each other and try to come up with a peaceful resolution. 

Valeria:
​We have an anonymous caller. Go ahead anonymous, you are very welcome to chat!

Anonymous:
I am going through all the episodes Iona spoke about. My neighbor is a man and he has a main girlfriend but he also has other women over his house constantly. I don’t understand why he never turns on his music to drown out the sound. I live in an apartment complex so yes, the walls are very thin. I can hear his headboard rocking back and forth. I can hear the springs in his mattress squeaking left and right. It’s a shame! I have talked to him about it but nothing has changed.

​Iona:
Girlfriend, sounds like your neighbor needs to get a new mattress. Seriously, are you saying he has a main chick but he is cheating with other women?

Anonymous:
Yes, it appears that way. I hope they are being cautious. ​

Constance:
We have a Mr. Frederick on the line. Hello Frederick. You are very welcome to chat, sir.

Frederick:
Wait…wait…wait. I can’t sit by and allow your assumptions to corrupt the audience. Ms. Anonymous you don’t know if that is his main chick or side chick. You can’t say that. You don’t know! Why are women so nosy! They probably have an understanding Anonymous. She is probably seeing other people as well. Women are NOT innocent! Maybe it’s an open relationship and it is his business. I brought my first house at 21 and before then, I was always making love in a house. If I did have a townhouse or an apartment, there would be no compromise with anyone on how much sex I can have in the privacy of my house. Sorry, it’s a non-negotiable topic. We all know the woman comes to the man house anyway. Iona you’ve done it. You do have 2 kids, right! Constance you’ve done it! I am pretty sure Ms. Anonymous has done it as well. I am sure you all have disturbed someone else’s peace before whether you knew it or not so please stop acting like you haven’t. It's a part of life!

Kayla:
Ouch…I am so guilty of this! You might be correct Frederick. The issue is Iona and her female neighbor, who she has tried to reason with unsuccessfully. Let's stick to the topic.

Constance:
Frederick, I could go back and forth with how you are assuming that we have all allowed this to happen. I will not. There are some people in this world who are quite mindful of others and try their best to treat people the way they want to be treated. I can only speak for myself when I say if I was having relations with my husband when he and I were dating; they heard us by accident and not on purpose. There is a difference. If I am unaware and you speak to me about it then I know. If I keep doing it, then I am doing it on purpose and being inconsiderate.

Valeria:
We have another caller. I believe her name is Lupe. Oh, nope it is a guy. Sorry, go head Lupe. You are welcome to chat with us. ​

Lupe:
I just want to touch on what some of the other callers have stated. Although Iona feels like her neighbor is being disrespectful and inconsiderate. Iona has to look at it from another angle. Just because Iona has 2 children does not mean other people’s lives and fun has to stop. I think Iona is being awfully judgmental about her neighbor’s lifestyle. She has the right to live her life the way she wants. As a man, I won’t say I will die without having sexual relations with my girl but it is something that I enjoy doing. She likes coming over my house. I like having her there.  I don’t agree with her neighbor disturbing your peace Iona. I think it is time for you to talk to the management where you live and try to solve your problems through them. 

Valeria:
Yes, I agree. There needs to be some sort of mediation between Iona and her neighbor. We are running out of time but we have time for a few more callers. Toussaint you’re up. You are very welcome to chat.

Toussaint:
I just want to give a shout out to all the men who are representing on the Sister Circle. I believe Lupe is right. Iona, you have to figure out how to come together in unity with your neighbor. Yes you! You’re the one with the complaint. If you don’t you will continue going around the same circle. Your neighbor appears to be reluctant to acknowledge your problem with her. Your best bet is to have a mediator to help you resolve it. You will have to sacrifice taking off work. I know you mentioned earlier that you didn’t want to do that but you may have to. Peace!

Trisha:​
​There are a lot of men calling in. I am a bit surprised. We have another caller and she is a woman. Alice welcome to the Circle, are you ready to chat?

Alice:
​Yes, I am ready! I have been trying for ever to get through so just because the men got through don’t mean women aren’t calling because we are.  Iona, at the end of the day you have to live at the place you reside so do what you think is best for you. I understand you spoke with your neighbor and you continue to suffer in silence with her lifestyle. I actually don’t think the scheduling idea is a bad one. It’s either that or going to management. 

Constance
We have another caller. Sheena you are very welcome to chat.

Sheena:
I think the men who spoke on here are full of crap! They sound sexiest and arrogant but I am not surprised. They act like they never heard of the word compassion. You certainly can handle your personal private business and have compassion on others.  Put yourself in her shoes. Having children in your home are very dominant factors when you are trying to make sure they get their rest; also your rest as well. Most people would rather have a peaceful night than not. I understand her neighbor doesn’t have any kids but she moved next to someone who does; geez! It would not hurt her neighbor to be a bit more sensitive to the fact that Iona is a mother; trying to raise 2 kids and they don’t need to be unable to sleep because her neighbor chooses to allow men in and out of her house in the wee hours of the night. It’s a choice she can change if she wants. It’s called compromise people!  

Iona:
Thanks so much Sheena. We have one last caller. I believe a Ms. Flame. Welcome Ms. Flame. What a name.

Ms. Flame:
I can co-sign on a little bit of everything that has been said. Please don’t boo me but I was the woman who would go over to my boyfriend’s house to have our personal time together. At the time, my boyfriend lived next door to a Christian woman in a townhouse. The walls were thin. She always complained that we were too loud. I can admit we did disturb her from having a good night’s sleep. It was totally selfish. I certainly was not raised like that. My man was a stubborn old bull about it. I started feeling guilty about us doing that so I told him to come over to my house or wait until she was not home because she went to church a lot and I know she was praying for both of us. My boyfriend was mad at me when I started encouraging him to respect his neighbor more. It wasn’t because she was a woman. It wasn’t because she was older than us. It wasn’t because she was a Christian. Well, maybe a little bit. It actually was common courtesy and out of respect. Iona, your neighbor does not respect you. If she did she would try to compromise and meet you somewhere in the middle to help resolve the issue.  

Constance…Kayla…Iona…Trisha…Valeria:
That wraps up the circle. Please join us next week for our next Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats!
​
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  
 

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits!

Valaria is a theater teacher with no kids in her mid-30’s. Iona is an author and copywriter. She is the youngest at 25. She is a single mom with 2 kids. Kayla is a professor and mother of 5 children, two of them being a set of twins. She is 28 years old. Kayla is married. Constance is married with one child. She is a stay at home mom; also a personal trainer by profession and a nurse. Constance is 37 years old. Trisha is in her early 40’s. She is a Sales Executive. She is divorced with grown adult children. 

Constance starts off the show by talking about her mother-in-law. Her husband always includes his mother in all of their plans...everywhere that they go. She has put up with it for 15 years and she is exhausted now. The chat begins.

Constance:
Today on our show we are going to talk about an issue that is close to my heart. I pray that my mother-in-law is listening. I have been married for 17 years.  I haven’t figured out a strategy for dealing with my mother-in-law.  Each and every time my husband and I go out, she is always present. I love her but I need my time alone with my family. I know it is not all of her fault. I talked to my husband about it. I have been unsuccessful with him. I understand she is lonely and single but I would like my private time with my husband and child.

Trisha:
I remember this issue! Why don’t you set some time aside for you and your mother-in-law. Take her to lunch or to an event, then tell her how you feel. Constance you have to speak up and be honest!

Constance:
The last time I tried that it blew up in my face. I don’t know what else to do. On my birthday last year I wanted to go to my favorite place to din. My husband said it would be just us. When I arrived at the place his mother was already there because he went and picked her up first. I pulled her to the side to speak with her. In so many words, I told her how I wanted to feel special on my birthday. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind declining sometimes when my husband invites her out with us. She started crying. My husband was upset with me.

Iona:
Constance, when you got married your husband was supposed to forsake all others for you. I understand your husband doesn’t want his mother to feel left out; I totally get that. When he married you he was supposed to cling to you. One of my cousins started her own online dating service. You should encourage your mother-in-law to join the site. She needs a man girl! She needs to get her own life and leave yours alone. You know I’m telling the gospel truth!

Constance:
I agree with you Iona. I take my vows very seriously. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose. I know she can see the expressions on my face EVERY TIME I have to see her. Wow, the phones are lighting up. Kayla, do you have anything to say?

Valeria:
I think your husband should be the one to talk to his mom if you feel some kind of way about his mom always tagging alone with you. 

​Constance:I always tell him that exact thing. He doesn’t want to do it! I think we may be headed to marriage counseling.

Kayla:
Of course I have a lot to say. I don’t see what the big issue is, Constance. It’s his mother. Didn’t she lose her husband a few years ago? Things like that take time. I think you are being a bit selfish and insensitive. How would you feel if it was you? I am sure there are family members that your husband puts up with. He doesn’t make a huge deal out of it. 

Iona:
Oh lord! Kayla…Kayla! Tune in to listen to what all of our callers have to say. Remember you can call anonymous.

Tune in next time (August ) to find out what the audience has to say. What do you think about Constance's mother-in-law? What would you do? 
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.  

The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits! The continuation from the last show (July 2017) begins as Valeria, Constance, Kayla, Trisha and Iona allow callers to call the show regarding the dilemma with Constance's mother-in-law. 

Iona:
Okay we are back from a short break. I believe we do have our first caller. Hey Terryannlynn, girlfriend, you are very welcome to chat.

Terryannlynn:
Hello ladies, hey Iona. I had to call in to chat about this topic. I was in a similar situation with my husband. My dad and I are very close. We lost my mom a few years back. My husband didn’t like the relationship I had with my dad. I was spending an extra amount of time with my dad to look out for him. I was forsaking my own family and kids. I didn’t realize it but I was. My husband accused me of sleeping with my dad. It was real bad! We separated for a while. I am blessed to have a multitude of family and friends who held us up with their prayers. We did go to counseling. It helped. The main thing that brought us back to our covenant was understanding, prayer and time!

Constance:
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing with us and our audience. I think we are definitely going to go to marriage counseling. What is your dad doing now?

Iona:
Yes, girl I bet you’re a daddy’s girl. You are not only helping out Constance. You are helping someone else who is listening that needs to hear your testimony chile.

Terryannlynn:
My dad is volunteering at a school district near his home. He met a woman there. She is his companion. I am very happy for him. I call him every day. I don’t see him daily like I use to. Yes, I am a daddy’s girl Iona. My name was going to be Terry Ann. My dad wanted his name added since I was the last child so my mom named me Terryannlynn. My dad’s name is Lynn.

Iona: (Smiling…laughing)
I knew it! I was like, what kind of name is that when you called in. You have a long distinctive name. Thanks again for calling in to chat.

Iona:
The phones are ringing off the hook. Caller number 2 is an anonymous caller. Hey anonymous you are very welcome to chat.

Anonymous:
I would like to address what Kayla said earlier. I think Kayla really needs to put herself in Constance shoes. We should always think before we speak, Kayla. Kayla you have 5 children and you are a working mom as a professor, so what if your husband was spending all of his time with one of his parents; including them in plans which should at times be preserved for your immediate family? Do you think you would feel a little bit neglected? I really did not like your tone as you spoke on the topic, Kayla. Yes, it is important to empathize with her mother-in-law but it is also crucial for you to be neutral if you “don’t see what the big issue is” in Constance life and situation. It obviously is a “big issue” to Constance.

Kayla:
Anonymous, I am entitled to my opinions and you are entitled to yours. Thanks for calling in. Your point is received well. Thank you!

Iona:
Well, okay, next caller please. Ooowee! Kayla are you okay girl? I am so not use to this side of you! I think we have a man on the line. Zalvaski, brother you are very welcome to chat!

Kayla:
I am quite fine, Iona! Let’s move forward please.

Zalvaski:
I believe if two people really have love on their side as their guide and locked in their hearts it is going to all work out. There is no easy way to fix the problem. Your husband will have to let go of his mom just a little bit if he wants to save his marriage. Healing takes time for sorrow to do what it does best…heal. I have been married for 59 years. I have been through lots of trials and tests with my honey bunny. We survived it all because we have faith in each other. We believe in our love…our vows. To all the people who are going through something like this, please hold on! It will all work out! I really believe that. Thanks for allowing me to speak to you gals. I enjoy your show.

Valeria:
My heart is melting right about now. That was the sweetest caller thus far. I love his wisdom! Thanks so much for calling in Mr. Zalvaski. Please call in again. We enjoyed you.

Iona:
Wait…I am still glowing all over about “honey bunny” which is so cute! Yes, please call in as much as you can Mr. Zalvaski. You are always welcome Sir. We have another caller on the line. Hey Ruquana, you are very welcome to chat.

Ruquana:
I wanted to call in to say I agree with what Iona had stated earlier. I think Constance has done all she can do. Her husband should really try to get his mom active in volunteering somewhere like Terryannlynn dad did. Introducing her to some seniors of the opposite sex would not be a bad idea as Iona suggested. If Constance husband encourages his mother to get out on her own, things will be better for Constance and her family.

Iona:
Just say the word Constance and I will hook grandma up! Yes, she really needs to get out of her comfort zone. She doesn’t have to date anyone. I feel it is imperative for her to live her life. No one is telling her not to miss her husband; we just want her to live her life in newness.

Constance:
Yes! Amen. I just want her to live her life. My mother-in-law use to be so full of life.

Iona:
We have a Mr. Thomas on the line. Hey Thomas! You are very welcome to chat my brother.

Thomas:
I agree with Ruquana, Terryannlynn, plus Mr. Zalvaski. Pour some extreme motivation into her; get her active and urge her to volunteer. Let her know she is needed somewhere. Introduce her to seniors of both sexes so she can be around them. Find out what she use to like doing and build on that. It will take time and I believe it will work out. I am praying for everyone. This really makes me appreciate my wife and the battles we have WON together.

Constance:
Thank you so much Thomas! Please feel free to call back in!

Iona: (smiling)
That brother loves his wife on the air…just kidding. I know you love your wife Thomas! Thank you so much for your call and for sharing your love. This will be our last caller. I think we have a Brianetta. Hey Brianetta, you are very welcome to chat.

Brianetta:
Hello to all of the wonderful sisters of the circle. I just wanted to call in to say I have truly enjoyed all of the comments. I think Kayla was very humble when she responded to that anonymous call. We don’t usually hear that side of her; just being honest. I think any man or husband has the right to address their mom and dad if their spouse or partner is feeling some kind of way in their marriage or relationship. The covenant of marriage is between that man and that woman. Life is full of pain, adversity, unknowns and choices. I don’t mean to sound harsh but Constance should come first. If she feels like she wants to have her time with her husband and kids I don’t think that is too much to ask for from her spouse. God has a way of taking care of people when we can’t. I wish those who are going through this situation and similar ones much prayer and peace. It will all work out just like Mr. Zalvaski stated. Constance mother-in-law will be fine. Thanks for allowing me this time.

Constance, Iona, Valeria, Trisha, Kayla:
That wraps up the circle. Please join us next week (September) for our next Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats!

Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.