It is time to exploit all the irkahliciousness running rampant in the land. There are some irritants that trouble people and there are dangerous incidents of major irkahliciousness that kiss us on the wrong cheek, so we wipe our face off when we encounter it. Your affection can be rather distracting! I would like to introduce you to a few more irks I’ve noticed this year.
MAJOR REACTIONS TO DISTRACTIONS
In 2019, you do know that there are apps that you can put on your phones and new technology in your cars to help you stay focus on driving; not on your cell phone or any other distractions. I promise the grace of God is on all of us. There have been so many accidents due to people who still do not believe that texting and driving is hazardous to the lives of others and themselves. Those of you who are still smoking a cigarette while driving and texting on your phone are very selfish. You don’t even think about all the love you have at home and in the streets. People really do love you. How about that? If you lost your life over a text message, you would really be missed. If you killed someone over a text message, those poor choices will hunt your conscience for the rest of your life. Another person’s family will be grieving because of you! It’s not worth it! It can wait! Turn off your phone until you get to your destination. I can't stand when folks are texting and driving by me. I always rush to move away from them. Some of you have the nerve to have tinted windows in your car so you can text and drive but when you are swerving like you are intoxicated, we know! PLEASE JUST STOP!
GROUP TEXT IN EFFECT
I really have to say this again! Please be mindful, group text messages are not favorable to all. Also, stop taking it so personal...dang. It is a person's choice or prerogative if they wish to receive group text messages or not from you. Some people do not like getting bombarded by random conversations on their phones long after a group text message was sent. Yes, there are individuals who still prefer you sending them a single message instead of a group text message. A single text is communication between you and the other person. Like the sender and receiver. A group text message is communication between the sender and all the people they sent the text message to, therefore, please do not assume it is okay to send everyone a group text message. If you are unsure, ask.
DON'T STOP (PLEASE STOP)
So each day as I mind my business and go on about my day, I notice that some of you guys in America hate stopping at stop signs. You are lucky I am not Sancti-Fly Mama the police officer. I would give you guys a ticket, like ALL OF THE TIME if I saw you pausing at a stop sign. Church folks (the worst), friends, and family would be included too. Please do not get mad at me for following the law. You are not suppose to pause. You are suppose to stop! I understand lots of folks do it. That still doesn't make it right. Then you all have the NERVE to be upset at me for making a complete stop when you are behind me. Oh well, because I like stopping completely at the stop sign. You need to learn how to do it. I bet if the police was behind you, you'd stop at the stop sign and NOT pause. I can't tell you how many times people have acted like their world was coming to an end because they were behind me and I stopped completely at a stop sign. Well, get over it. I am going to stop. You are obviously the problem. This is how accidents occur. You are in a rush to go nowhere. Maybe you need to discover how to stop at the stop sign again. Act like you are taking your driver's test every time you put your foot on your gas and STOP!
THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE CARTS
Civility 101 allows me to know some of you skipped that class. Why is it when I go to any grocery stores or shopping centers there are always folks like YOU (you know who you are) who never put the shopping carts back where they belong. Do you know how many times I have tried to park in a good parking space and was interrupted by a shopping cart that someone left. I have often had to remove lots of carts out of the way in order to park in a parking space in the parking lot of a grocery store because of people like YOU. Instead of putting the cart back where it belong, you leave it in the middle of the street, or where ever you feel like you want to leave it. What's so wrong with putting the cart back? Why are you so lazy? I bet you could use the exercise so walk your lovely self on over to the area where you put the carts back and put them there. It's common courtesy. I hope you are not with your children when you exhibit this type of poor behavior. You're not showing them a good example. I pray that you will stop leaving shopping carts in the middle of parking lots and return it where it properly belongs. I don't think that is asking for too much!
LIVE PERSON PLEASE LIKE A HUMAN BEING
Ring…ring…ring! “Okay I’m just going to have to wait and listen.” Please listen carefully as our menu has changed. If you would like to speak to technical support please press 1. If you are calling about a new account please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly. If you would like to talk to someone about a misplaced, lost or stolen card please press 2. If you wish to leave a voice mail message please press 8. If you want to make this message private please press 1. Please say the last four digits of your social security number. If you are calling due to fraud please hold on for the next available agent; we do appreciate your business. “Dang let me put them on speaker because I got things to do.” Are you still there? Please hang up and try again! “What! Did they just hang up on me?” This call may be recorded for quality and training purposes. If you would like to take a brief survey to let us know how we are doing please stay on the line after this call. “Um no, I already stayed on here too long! Can someone please just pick up the phone? May I please speak to customer service?” Okay, I’ll get you over to customer service. Thanks for calling us and letting us waste a lot of your time today! Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be with you in 2 minutes. WAIT! We are experiencing a high level of calls right now. If you would like for us to call you back please press.. "Never mind...never mind."
MAJOR REACTIONS TO DISTRACTIONS
In 2019, you do know that there are apps that you can put on your phones and new technology in your cars to help you stay focus on driving; not on your cell phone or any other distractions. I promise the grace of God is on all of us. There have been so many accidents due to people who still do not believe that texting and driving is hazardous to the lives of others and themselves. Those of you who are still smoking a cigarette while driving and texting on your phone are very selfish. You don’t even think about all the love you have at home and in the streets. People really do love you. How about that? If you lost your life over a text message, you would really be missed. If you killed someone over a text message, those poor choices will hunt your conscience for the rest of your life. Another person’s family will be grieving because of you! It’s not worth it! It can wait! Turn off your phone until you get to your destination. I can't stand when folks are texting and driving by me. I always rush to move away from them. Some of you have the nerve to have tinted windows in your car so you can text and drive but when you are swerving like you are intoxicated, we know! PLEASE JUST STOP!
GROUP TEXT IN EFFECT
I really have to say this again! Please be mindful, group text messages are not favorable to all. Also, stop taking it so personal...dang. It is a person's choice or prerogative if they wish to receive group text messages or not from you. Some people do not like getting bombarded by random conversations on their phones long after a group text message was sent. Yes, there are individuals who still prefer you sending them a single message instead of a group text message. A single text is communication between you and the other person. Like the sender and receiver. A group text message is communication between the sender and all the people they sent the text message to, therefore, please do not assume it is okay to send everyone a group text message. If you are unsure, ask.
DON'T STOP (PLEASE STOP)
So each day as I mind my business and go on about my day, I notice that some of you guys in America hate stopping at stop signs. You are lucky I am not Sancti-Fly Mama the police officer. I would give you guys a ticket, like ALL OF THE TIME if I saw you pausing at a stop sign. Church folks (the worst), friends, and family would be included too. Please do not get mad at me for following the law. You are not suppose to pause. You are suppose to stop! I understand lots of folks do it. That still doesn't make it right. Then you all have the NERVE to be upset at me for making a complete stop when you are behind me. Oh well, because I like stopping completely at the stop sign. You need to learn how to do it. I bet if the police was behind you, you'd stop at the stop sign and NOT pause. I can't tell you how many times people have acted like their world was coming to an end because they were behind me and I stopped completely at a stop sign. Well, get over it. I am going to stop. You are obviously the problem. This is how accidents occur. You are in a rush to go nowhere. Maybe you need to discover how to stop at the stop sign again. Act like you are taking your driver's test every time you put your foot on your gas and STOP!
THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE CARTS
Civility 101 allows me to know some of you skipped that class. Why is it when I go to any grocery stores or shopping centers there are always folks like YOU (you know who you are) who never put the shopping carts back where they belong. Do you know how many times I have tried to park in a good parking space and was interrupted by a shopping cart that someone left. I have often had to remove lots of carts out of the way in order to park in a parking space in the parking lot of a grocery store because of people like YOU. Instead of putting the cart back where it belong, you leave it in the middle of the street, or where ever you feel like you want to leave it. What's so wrong with putting the cart back? Why are you so lazy? I bet you could use the exercise so walk your lovely self on over to the area where you put the carts back and put them there. It's common courtesy. I hope you are not with your children when you exhibit this type of poor behavior. You're not showing them a good example. I pray that you will stop leaving shopping carts in the middle of parking lots and return it where it properly belongs. I don't think that is asking for too much!
LIVE PERSON PLEASE LIKE A HUMAN BEING
Ring…ring…ring! “Okay I’m just going to have to wait and listen.” Please listen carefully as our menu has changed. If you would like to speak to technical support please press 1. If you are calling about a new account please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly. If you would like to talk to someone about a misplaced, lost or stolen card please press 2. If you wish to leave a voice mail message please press 8. If you want to make this message private please press 1. Please say the last four digits of your social security number. If you are calling due to fraud please hold on for the next available agent; we do appreciate your business. “Dang let me put them on speaker because I got things to do.” Are you still there? Please hang up and try again! “What! Did they just hang up on me?” This call may be recorded for quality and training purposes. If you would like to take a brief survey to let us know how we are doing please stay on the line after this call. “Um no, I already stayed on here too long! Can someone please just pick up the phone? May I please speak to customer service?” Okay, I’ll get you over to customer service. Thanks for calling us and letting us waste a lot of your time today! Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be with you in 2 minutes. WAIT! We are experiencing a high level of calls right now. If you would like for us to call you back please press.. "Never mind...never mind."
