The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits!
Constance begins the Sister Circle in a proactive stance. Constance is adamant about preserving her son’s identity and culture in a positive way. She recently attended her husband’s family reunion and received a lot of negative comments from her in-laws for their biracial distinctiveness. Constance mother is African American and her father is Irish American. Constance son is biracial because Constance is mixed with black and white. Her husband is mixed with black and Mexican. Constance mother-in-law is Mexican American and her father-in-law is African American.
Constance:
When I was a little girl I was always called “white girl” by my black friends. My skin was really light as a child. I had long naturally curly hair. They teased me for that! As I’ve aged, I have more of a tan color and I straighten my hair. I tried my best to fit in. I didn’t understand why my peers felt like I had to choose. I am biracial! My white friends started treating me differently when they saw my mother was a black woman. I only felt accepted by those who were considered foreigners. I grew up going to school with all nationalities. I do not want my son to grow up thinking something is wrong with him because his parents decided to fall in love with each other. He is not black. He is not white. He is both. He is biracial. At my husband’s family reunion they were acting like they had a right to stigmatize my son’s identity. We really need to have a discussion about this. There are so many children and adults who suffer in silence. As a grown woman I am free. As a child I was not free because I did not understand it.
Iona:
Yes, I totally agree! As you know my dad was Italian American. My mom is black or African American, whichever you prefer to use. My dad passed away but I keep in contact with my grandmother. She is 100% Italian and she loves me and my kids to pieces. When I grew up I experienced this exact same thing in elementary school. I grew up in a black community. All the girls were jealous of me. My hair and skin texture was different from theirs and they had issues with me because it. I didn’t have any problems with the boys or young men growing up. It was always the females. We moved to a predominantly white community when I went to high school. My social life got so much better. I get it Constance.
Valeria:
Okay, so Constance what exactly happened to you at the barbecue? I am also considered biracial, I guess. One of my parents is Puerto Rican and one is Cuban American. They are both Latinos. I have lived in my own community growing up. I didn’t feel like I ever had to choose between my mom’s side or my dad’s side of the family. There was nothing but love and acceptance on both sides. Iona do your kids ever tell you things about them being biracial?
Constance:
Well, from my experience if you are ignorant of other cultures you tend to fully show it. The folks at the family reunion insisted on calling my four year old son “black baby with the white curly hair” and I thought that was offensive. His name is Carter. The mentality some of them had was mind-blowing. During slavery time, if you had one drop of black blood in you they said you were black. This is a new day! I am teaching my son all of his ethnicity on all sides. I told them he is biracial. His bloodline consist of more than one race. If you want to label him please address him as that. He doesn’t have to choose if he doesn’t want to. If he professes to only be white he is denying his black side. If he states he is only black, he is rejecting his black side. I want him to feel comfortable with who he is.
Iona:
You know, my kids are in a diverse elementary school. I’ve taught them about their black history and Italian history. They have thick skin. I don’t believe they have encountered this issue. There is a lot of self-acceptance that I modeled for them at home. If my kids have had issues about being biracial they definitely would share it with me. The only thing I know about is the bullying that happened and that is in the past. I stopped it. Its sad people want to make you feel some kind of way about who you are because they have a problem with who they are. So Valeria, no to your question. My kids are good.
Kayla:
Both of my parents are European. I have never experienced this! I do have a cousin who married an African American man and their two sons have shared how they constantly get harassed for being black boys. They both consider themselves to be biracial. Some people can’t accept that. They want to define you when they don’t have the right to do that.
Iona:
What do you mean they get harassed for being black boys? Then you said they consider themselves biracial? I was a little confused by that. I agree with not allowing others to put you in a box. I always tell my son and daughter no one can define them. Don’t let anyone define you but you!
Kayla:
My cousin kids have a beautiful brown tan color. I would kill to have their skin color. It is so beautiful. I surmise to most folks they look like African American young men. Their hair is a different texture. One has straight hair and the other is curly. They look like they are mixed to me. You can tell they have black blood in them. Some of the people in their community and in their school call them “black boys” when they articulate they are biracial. I meant to say they don’t like people labeling them as "black boys" because they feel connected to both sides of their families.
Trisha:
That’s interesting that you would point that out. In the black community we usually can tell if a person is mixed or biracial. I don’t think in today’s age most adults have a problem with a person being biracial. I do remember when I was growing up, if you were biracial a lot more attention was focused on you. A lot of the boys and men wanted to date you. I think this is a teachable moment. This is why people should try to travel the world with their kids so they can experience other cultures. Small minds usually dwells in a decrease of information. The more you know the better your mind can breathe positivity. I disagree with a person having to choose. They should not have to pick sides but if your features look more African American then society will consider you a black man or black woman.
Constance:
I don’t care what society thinks. I was told I look more like a white woman but I refuse to deny the blood in my veins that represent my mom’s side. I am a biracial woman and I am proud of that; both sides! No one has the authority to tell me how I should look, think or feel. There are things that I identify more with on my mom’s side. There are things I can relate to more on my dad’s side. No one can make me choose. I want my son to have that same choice. I don’t care what I look like to you on the outside. That's your problem, not mines!
Trisha:
Thanks for saying that! What a powerful point! I don’t think we will ever get pass race on any subject. I think we have to get passed other folks expectations.
Iona:
I am always told I look like an exotic black woman. I don’t know what that means. Although I have two different ethnicities in my bloodline I identify more with my African American side of my family. I spent more time with that side. This does not mean I am denying my Italian side because I do not. I speak fluent Italian and Spanish. When my father passed away I stopped going around his side. A lot of his side of the family did not accept me as his child. My grandmother is a rock star. She always showed me love. I understand what you are saying Constance.
Kayla:
Actually, I honestly thought you were Latino Constance when I first met you!
Valeria:
Me too! Kayla you took the worlds right out of my mouth. I was just about to say that. I looked at your complexion and hair color. I just knew you were a Borinquen!
Constance:
Wait…is that why you were yelling BORICUA when I first met you (LOL).
Valeria:
Yes girl, Yes (LOL)! That was too funny.
Constance:
There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. I am grateful they accept you as you are. We are all mixed up with one race or another. Let’s tune in to see what our callers have to say on the subject. We all have some African blood in us.
Tune in next time (August) to find out what the audience has to say. What do you think about Constance's mother-in-law? What would you do?
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.
Constance begins the Sister Circle in a proactive stance. Constance is adamant about preserving her son’s identity and culture in a positive way. She recently attended her husband’s family reunion and received a lot of negative comments from her in-laws for their biracial distinctiveness. Constance mother is African American and her father is Irish American. Constance son is biracial because Constance is mixed with black and white. Her husband is mixed with black and Mexican. Constance mother-in-law is Mexican American and her father-in-law is African American.
Constance:
When I was a little girl I was always called “white girl” by my black friends. My skin was really light as a child. I had long naturally curly hair. They teased me for that! As I’ve aged, I have more of a tan color and I straighten my hair. I tried my best to fit in. I didn’t understand why my peers felt like I had to choose. I am biracial! My white friends started treating me differently when they saw my mother was a black woman. I only felt accepted by those who were considered foreigners. I grew up going to school with all nationalities. I do not want my son to grow up thinking something is wrong with him because his parents decided to fall in love with each other. He is not black. He is not white. He is both. He is biracial. At my husband’s family reunion they were acting like they had a right to stigmatize my son’s identity. We really need to have a discussion about this. There are so many children and adults who suffer in silence. As a grown woman I am free. As a child I was not free because I did not understand it.
Iona:
Yes, I totally agree! As you know my dad was Italian American. My mom is black or African American, whichever you prefer to use. My dad passed away but I keep in contact with my grandmother. She is 100% Italian and she loves me and my kids to pieces. When I grew up I experienced this exact same thing in elementary school. I grew up in a black community. All the girls were jealous of me. My hair and skin texture was different from theirs and they had issues with me because it. I didn’t have any problems with the boys or young men growing up. It was always the females. We moved to a predominantly white community when I went to high school. My social life got so much better. I get it Constance.
Valeria:
Okay, so Constance what exactly happened to you at the barbecue? I am also considered biracial, I guess. One of my parents is Puerto Rican and one is Cuban American. They are both Latinos. I have lived in my own community growing up. I didn’t feel like I ever had to choose between my mom’s side or my dad’s side of the family. There was nothing but love and acceptance on both sides. Iona do your kids ever tell you things about them being biracial?
Constance:
Well, from my experience if you are ignorant of other cultures you tend to fully show it. The folks at the family reunion insisted on calling my four year old son “black baby with the white curly hair” and I thought that was offensive. His name is Carter. The mentality some of them had was mind-blowing. During slavery time, if you had one drop of black blood in you they said you were black. This is a new day! I am teaching my son all of his ethnicity on all sides. I told them he is biracial. His bloodline consist of more than one race. If you want to label him please address him as that. He doesn’t have to choose if he doesn’t want to. If he professes to only be white he is denying his black side. If he states he is only black, he is rejecting his black side. I want him to feel comfortable with who he is.
Iona:
You know, my kids are in a diverse elementary school. I’ve taught them about their black history and Italian history. They have thick skin. I don’t believe they have encountered this issue. There is a lot of self-acceptance that I modeled for them at home. If my kids have had issues about being biracial they definitely would share it with me. The only thing I know about is the bullying that happened and that is in the past. I stopped it. Its sad people want to make you feel some kind of way about who you are because they have a problem with who they are. So Valeria, no to your question. My kids are good.
Kayla:
Both of my parents are European. I have never experienced this! I do have a cousin who married an African American man and their two sons have shared how they constantly get harassed for being black boys. They both consider themselves to be biracial. Some people can’t accept that. They want to define you when they don’t have the right to do that.
Iona:
What do you mean they get harassed for being black boys? Then you said they consider themselves biracial? I was a little confused by that. I agree with not allowing others to put you in a box. I always tell my son and daughter no one can define them. Don’t let anyone define you but you!
Kayla:
My cousin kids have a beautiful brown tan color. I would kill to have their skin color. It is so beautiful. I surmise to most folks they look like African American young men. Their hair is a different texture. One has straight hair and the other is curly. They look like they are mixed to me. You can tell they have black blood in them. Some of the people in their community and in their school call them “black boys” when they articulate they are biracial. I meant to say they don’t like people labeling them as "black boys" because they feel connected to both sides of their families.
Trisha:
That’s interesting that you would point that out. In the black community we usually can tell if a person is mixed or biracial. I don’t think in today’s age most adults have a problem with a person being biracial. I do remember when I was growing up, if you were biracial a lot more attention was focused on you. A lot of the boys and men wanted to date you. I think this is a teachable moment. This is why people should try to travel the world with their kids so they can experience other cultures. Small minds usually dwells in a decrease of information. The more you know the better your mind can breathe positivity. I disagree with a person having to choose. They should not have to pick sides but if your features look more African American then society will consider you a black man or black woman.
Constance:
I don’t care what society thinks. I was told I look more like a white woman but I refuse to deny the blood in my veins that represent my mom’s side. I am a biracial woman and I am proud of that; both sides! No one has the authority to tell me how I should look, think or feel. There are things that I identify more with on my mom’s side. There are things I can relate to more on my dad’s side. No one can make me choose. I want my son to have that same choice. I don’t care what I look like to you on the outside. That's your problem, not mines!
Trisha:
Thanks for saying that! What a powerful point! I don’t think we will ever get pass race on any subject. I think we have to get passed other folks expectations.
Iona:
I am always told I look like an exotic black woman. I don’t know what that means. Although I have two different ethnicities in my bloodline I identify more with my African American side of my family. I spent more time with that side. This does not mean I am denying my Italian side because I do not. I speak fluent Italian and Spanish. When my father passed away I stopped going around his side. A lot of his side of the family did not accept me as his child. My grandmother is a rock star. She always showed me love. I understand what you are saying Constance.
Kayla:
Actually, I honestly thought you were Latino Constance when I first met you!
Valeria:
Me too! Kayla you took the worlds right out of my mouth. I was just about to say that. I looked at your complexion and hair color. I just knew you were a Borinquen!
Constance:
Wait…is that why you were yelling BORICUA when I first met you (LOL).
Valeria:
Yes girl, Yes (LOL)! That was too funny.
Constance:
There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. I am grateful they accept you as you are. We are all mixed up with one race or another. Let’s tune in to see what our callers have to say on the subject. We all have some African blood in us.
Tune in next time (August) to find out what the audience has to say. What do you think about Constance's mother-in-law? What would you do?
Disclaimer: The opinions and views expressed in all of the characters and the advice is not real. It is fiction.
