Fiction
I concede, I always wanted to have a big fat wedding with an amazing cast in it. I have been programmed for marriage since I was a little lady. My siblings and all of my very best friends are all married. They all got married at very young ages. I can't even lie! I have always been surrounded by love and marriage despite what the media and the stereotypes said concerning black men and women. All of my aunts and uncles are still married. My parents are still in love and married. Both of my grandparents are alive and still married. The covenant of marriage is well established in my family. I am the youngest of 6 children. My mom and dad had a set of girl twins, two boys and two more girls. I am the only one not married. I am also the youngest child. At the age of 29, I have been in a thousand crazy weddings between my friends, family, and associates. I am starting to feel very uncomfortable about marriage due to various reasons with evidence all around me!
I am thankful to have a supportive family but lately when I come around them, I feel like they are all judging me (they are) because I am not married with my own family yet! All I keep hearing is, "Hey Kara, would you like to meet this person or that person? He's single and a professional like you." Or "Why aren't you dating and mating girl." As an Actuary, I am committed to my career, right now. My 5 brother and sisters are in their late 30's and 40's. Cleopatrah and Nefertiti are 38. I have the luxury of often getting free passes to anything and everything in music and television or in the theater arena. They are entertainment lawyers. Yes, they are also married to lawyers as well. They followed in mom and dad's footsteps. Our dad is a politician, and our mom is a judge, so I surmise you can say she is a politician as well. I had an interest in math. My two older brothers are closer in age. Malcolm works in law enforcement. I believe that he is CIA. He is secretive about what he does. Mom and dad always told us that Malcolm was in private law enforcement. He has no kids. He is married. Malcolm is extremely what we call the protector of the family. Judith and Kenyon are medical doctors. They are both married with children and have wonderful spouses.
As I stated before, I truly believe that marriage is a beautiful journey for those who want to grow old together. There is nothing like coming home to someone who makes you feel needed and supported. Married life is not for perfect people but throughout my 29 years, I have noticed how the married women attached to me are burned out. Did you know that women file for divorce at a higher rate than men? Who really benefits from marriage more? I can answer that. It is the men. This is why I am not as fond of marriage as I used to be. I want to be free to take care of my own things. I have an associate that is going through a tough breakup. She confided that she will never get married again. She was married for 7 years. She has 2 kids. She worked and so did her husband. They didn't lack money or abundance. She said she felt like a single mother. Oh my God!
When she said it, I thought about all of the other times I heard my family, and my best friends say the same thing. Men benefit the most from a marriage because whether they are the bread winners, or you make more than them, as women, you will always do more. Women run the household, take care of the kids, clean, cook, go to work and are tired. I really don't want that life. I would rather just have a companion. I am financially solid. I don't want to do his laundry, cook his food, or manage all of our errands. God forbid if we have children. I will be a single married mom too! No thank you, naw, I'm good.
I do understand that each marriage is different, but in mostly all marriages men benefit the most because women do EVERYTHING. Again, no thank you! I feel totally uncomfortable explaining this to my parents, but I will. Times are different now. I am not a slave. I know that when you love that man you don't mind doing all of those things but DAMN! I hope the men are taking care of the women they marry and treat them very good. I can testify that there are men who actually do care about being selfless when it comes to their partners. I also have witnessed lots of cheating, but the women did not leave. They stayed. Um, no thank you to marriage if he is greedy with the cheating. I am good. I am not interested in a life of marriage where a man has no self-control! I am still young, so you just never know.
I am thankful to have a supportive family but lately when I come around them, I feel like they are all judging me (they are) because I am not married with my own family yet! All I keep hearing is, "Hey Kara, would you like to meet this person or that person? He's single and a professional like you." Or "Why aren't you dating and mating girl." As an Actuary, I am committed to my career, right now. My 5 brother and sisters are in their late 30's and 40's. Cleopatrah and Nefertiti are 38. I have the luxury of often getting free passes to anything and everything in music and television or in the theater arena. They are entertainment lawyers. Yes, they are also married to lawyers as well. They followed in mom and dad's footsteps. Our dad is a politician, and our mom is a judge, so I surmise you can say she is a politician as well. I had an interest in math. My two older brothers are closer in age. Malcolm works in law enforcement. I believe that he is CIA. He is secretive about what he does. Mom and dad always told us that Malcolm was in private law enforcement. He has no kids. He is married. Malcolm is extremely what we call the protector of the family. Judith and Kenyon are medical doctors. They are both married with children and have wonderful spouses.
As I stated before, I truly believe that marriage is a beautiful journey for those who want to grow old together. There is nothing like coming home to someone who makes you feel needed and supported. Married life is not for perfect people but throughout my 29 years, I have noticed how the married women attached to me are burned out. Did you know that women file for divorce at a higher rate than men? Who really benefits from marriage more? I can answer that. It is the men. This is why I am not as fond of marriage as I used to be. I want to be free to take care of my own things. I have an associate that is going through a tough breakup. She confided that she will never get married again. She was married for 7 years. She has 2 kids. She worked and so did her husband. They didn't lack money or abundance. She said she felt like a single mother. Oh my God!
When she said it, I thought about all of the other times I heard my family, and my best friends say the same thing. Men benefit the most from a marriage because whether they are the bread winners, or you make more than them, as women, you will always do more. Women run the household, take care of the kids, clean, cook, go to work and are tired. I really don't want that life. I would rather just have a companion. I am financially solid. I don't want to do his laundry, cook his food, or manage all of our errands. God forbid if we have children. I will be a single married mom too! No thank you, naw, I'm good.
I do understand that each marriage is different, but in mostly all marriages men benefit the most because women do EVERYTHING. Again, no thank you! I feel totally uncomfortable explaining this to my parents, but I will. Times are different now. I am not a slave. I know that when you love that man you don't mind doing all of those things but DAMN! I hope the men are taking care of the women they marry and treat them very good. I can testify that there are men who actually do care about being selfless when it comes to their partners. I also have witnessed lots of cheating, but the women did not leave. They stayed. Um, no thank you to marriage if he is greedy with the cheating. I am good. I am not interested in a life of marriage where a man has no self-control! I am still young, so you just never know.
