The Ivory Bangle Lady helps us to cerebrate intensely, the possibilities of our own genotypes. What is in your DNA? Do you have some African blood in you? The Oblivescence of Black History is not conducive to black children. It is imperative for them to know about the Ivory Bangle Lady. It certainly makes a bold statement that African Romans ruled in Britain. It also encourages our kids to research their ancestry to find out what is in their bloodline.
IVORY BANGLE LADY The bossdom phenotype of the inexplicable Ivory Bangle Lady was featly originated in Roman York (Eboracum). Her skeletal remains were discovered in 1901 around the second half of the fourth century. There is no evidence of her real name. Examination of her remains show that she was around 19 when she died. Archaeologist research concludes that the woman known as the Ivory Bangle Lady had a bloodline mixed with North African and European blood flowing in her wealthy veins. The findings of this woman dispelled the fact that she was a slave in light of the jet and elephant ivory bracelets, earrings, pendants, and beads found on her at the time of discovery. This signified that the Ivory Bangle Lady was more of a plutocrat than a poor woman. The human remains of the Ivory Bangle Lady has been preserved and is displayed at the Yorkshire Museum. The Ivory Bangle Lady helps us to cerebrate intensely, the possibilities of our own genotypes. What is in your DNA? Do you have some African blood in you? The Oblivescence of Black History is not conducive to black children. It is imperative for them to know about the Ivory Bangle Lady. It certainly makes a bold statement that African Romans ruled in Britain. It also encourages our kids to research their ancestry to find out what is in their bloodline. Some of the items that were found in her stone tomb.
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Use and abuse these good words; helping you remember how to baptize yourself in the power and choice of your words; your actions. Sprinkle some Feel Good Words on your loved ones. Lift up, share and act like you care! Bring some of your positive charm to interject all the negatives in the world.
OUR MOTHER’S MOTHER AND FATHER’S FATHER PLANTED SEEDS OF LEGACY FOR YOU TO CONTINUE GOOD WORKS. THEY SNEAK PEEKS IN THE MORNINGS WHEN THEY CAN, TO SEE THEIR MOM’S MAN KISS HER HAND; THEIR DAD, THE HUSBAND. TIME WILL REVEAL, YOU REALLY HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE, TO LOVE, TO HEAL. IN THE SIGHT OF GOD PURPOSE-DRIVEN WOMEN RECEIVED THEIR DELIVERANCE COUPLED WITH REPENTANCE. SHE IS A TREASURE! WE LOVE HER, YOUR MOTHER. LET YOUR ARROGANCE SHINE OUT OF DARKNESS INTO A GLORIOUS LIGHT OF SERVICE…PLEASE! THE MANIFESTATION OF THIS NATION NEEDS YOUR ACTIONS TO BACK UP YOUR PRAYERS. SHE IS THE BURNT OFFERING OF GREAT SACRIFICES; RESPECT YOUR MOTHER AND CHERISH YOUR WIFE. THIS LIGHT AFFLICTION MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, I'M STILL GOING TO PRAISE GOD ANYHOW! THE CRAFTINESS OF THE ENEMY IS DISHONESTY. WE DO NOT RECEIVE THEIR MINISTRY, WE REBUKE LAYERS OF GREED. PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER HER RIVERS OF WATERS. SHE HAS THE KINGS HEART. THE STRENGTH OF HER CONFIDENCE PUT DEEP DENTS IN HOPELESSNESS. MILLIONS DRANK HOPE AND DRANK FIERCE. HE SAID, SHE SAID, IN ORDER TO RECEIVE THE LIGHT YOU HAVE TO WALK UP PERFECTLY RIGHT. BUT THE BLOOD RED...SHE BELIEVED AND GOD SAID “YOU’RE FREE DAUGHTER.” HE PROSPEROUSLY EFFECTED HIS LOVE TO HER AND SHE BECAME THE QUEEN OF HIS HELPMATE. SHE BOWED HER HEAD TO THE GROUND UPON THE PAVEMENT OF FROWNS. AS I COVERED HER WITH LOVE, MERCY AND GRACE, HER SMILE MADE A WAY OF STRENGTH TO ENDURE. TEMPORAL THINGS ARE SEEN. ETERNAL THINGS ARE ABUNDANT SEEDS WORKING EXCEEDINGLY IN SOUL-GRACE AND SOUL-PEACE; NOT SEEN. YOU TICKLE ME TRYING TO PROMOTE WORKERS OF INIQUITY. MY FATHER ALREADY PLANTED THE SEED. YOUR DESTRUCTION SHALL FLEE. Sometimes you just need those "FEEL GOOD" words to titivate your day. What do you do to get your daily dose of positive energy? JUNETEETH (JUNE 19) Pressed down shaken together in the abominations of stanchless pain; chains, iron collars and the separation of families immediately ended on June 19, 1865. The slaves in Galveston, Texas found out 2 years later in the month of June (Juneteenth) they were permitted to drown and bleed in the pursuit of some form of happiness. General Gordon Granger was responsible for informing the slaves they were unrestricted to be human beings. It was a jamboree! President Abraham Lincoln wrote a document called the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863, declaring an end to slavery. In light of not having enough representation of Union soldiers to enforce the new law in the state of Texas, the slave owners in Galveston, Texas opposed the law. They did not want to give up their free labor! This is why we celebrate June 19th. The slaves were freed! It was the end of a chapter of bondage for them. All they ever wanted was to be Black American citizens with the same rights and privileges.
July 4, 1776, gave White Americans their Independence Day. Black folks were slaves during that time. Independence Day did not apply to them. June 19, 1865, is known as Black Independence Day. The captivity and liberation of Juneteenth is more crucial now than ever, as pointed out in the Vox. Colorism and self-hate begets the residual consequences of slavery. The psychological effects of seeing black people and people of color treated less than American citizens when it comes to inequality, racism and racial injustice is a direct effect of slavery in America. The seeds of white supremacy has taken root in the earth and it is too stubborn to die; to let go! The corruptible beginnings of slavery made inhumane treatment towards Black Americans bleed heavy. Our minds have been conditioned in judgments passed down from generation to generation about black folks and white folks. The history of slavery is not a resource for blamestorming. No one is saying you are guilty of what your ancestors did. If you are repeating the pattern you are certainly adding to the problem that America has not fully dealt with, slavery. Hast thou not heard of such a buoyant group of people who only wanted to be created equally? Their bloodlines were renewed by God and their strength was increased when they were weary. We have every reason and right not to forget about Juneteenth. Ignorance avails very much when we choose not to confront our past. The celebration of Juneteenth represents Black American History for all to study. There are so many magnificent reasons why Dr. Martin Luther King’s life and legacy is celebrated with an amative stimulus of strength throughout the world. How can you not love a man who used passive resistance coupled with love to fight for the human rights of all people, especially black people? If the United States constitution was not enforced for all Americans, how can you expect those Americans to pledge their allegiance when they had none?
Dr. King affirmed, “All we say to America is, Be true to what you said on paper.” Dr. King was uniquely endowed with a stentorian voice leaking in fearlessness to remind the United States of America about the laws they enacted; their 'illegal injunctions' is what Dr. King called it. The 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution blatantly contradicted itself when it came to the lives of African or black American citizens. African Americans were not able to assemble together peacefully to protest against the sweltering hate thrusted upon them. To refute the ugliness of America even further, black Americans did not have equal access nor protection under the laws; as written in the 14th Amendment for all American citizens to have. The federal government undeniably legitimized the injustices that were done to black Americans during their fierce movement of freedom and justice. Black folks, as well as activist, (black and white) were murdered in their homes and churches. Black people were attacked by the police and their dogs. They were bullied, terrorized, and water hosed by firemen. Dr. King’s home was also bombed. All of this immorality was performed on black folks because they wanted to have the meticulous rights of their freedoms like the rest of the (white) Americans. Disgraceful and appalling was the face of America. Black people armed themselves with the greatest dignity and self-respect as they fought for their freedoms; as witnessed in history. During the fruitful 1955-1956 Montgomery Bus Boycott, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. decided to take a ride for freedom. I am so pleased he did. This is another great reason why we love his motivation. Martin's anointed presence in the civil rights movement helped to desegregate the city buses in Montgomery Alabama. Black Americans could finally ride the buses with white Americans. In regards to equal treatment, black Americans were not granted equality on bus rides before King stepped on the leadership scene. God used Dr. King to powerfully equalize the situation. Dr. King aggressively armed himself in the awareness of racism being the way of life for the majority of white people who lived in the south. The flavor in the south was white supremacy. The mood and the tone unfortunately has not been fully altered for some who desire to keep white supremacy alive today. Dr. King believed freedom belonged to black people who were Americans. He took a stand for liberation by applying his non-violent movement; teeming with peaceful protest. Martin King and other peaceful protesters were consistently arrested for organizing peacefully (marches, sit-ins). They too were black American citizens. Although the law stated American citizens had the right to protest peacefully, it was not applied towards black people. Dr. King proved countless times that wickedness will always bow down to righteousness. In July of 1966 Dr. Martin Luther King’s footsteps crossed over into the City of Chicago to bring peace and justice to segregated public accommodations for the open and fair housing issues. Dr. King stated that Chicago was one of the most hostile and hateful cities. His plan was to do what he did well. He wanted to bring the evil out into the open. He labeled Chicago the city of shame. As I watch the history of Dr. King; his documentaries and his speeches, I am not too surprised by the actions of others. Sometimes I've often wondered if the people who were caught in between harvesting the pain and humiliation towards black people ever realized how completely foolish they would someday look (for years) as whites were bravely filmed illustrating how stiff their necks were. It was hard for them to accept people that were different from them. The heritage of embarrassment has continued for some who show no shame. Dr. King had superlative logic and love. The yokes of terrorism, discrimination or segregation could not stop him. No surge of racism could stop black folks in their movement for freedom and justice from turning around. Black folks kept on going despite the heavy burdens of opposition and challenges staring them in the face daily. Black families wanted their emancipation by any means necessary. Martin thrived continuously. He not only marched, he negotiated the best deals for black folks. Dr. King accomplished what he was purposed to do! King forced America to confront their unhealthy issues they had politically, socially, and economically with African Americans. He raised his voice and raised the consciousness at a national level. In April of 1968 the man who was full of faith, love, and goodwill towards all men was killed; assassinated. He could not be broken so I surmise killing him was the only way they thought they could stop him. Fortuitously, Dr. King spirit of service, legacy of love, freedom, and justice lives on, stronger than ever. Dr. King brought deliverance from the plantation to rock an unbalanced nation with the promised liberty and justice for all. This is why we will never forget the sacrifices of his light (love). We are far from the Promised Land. Times are different. At times it feels the same. Dr. King did bring monumental changes in racial equality for all men. King insured voting rights and human rights for men to be treated as men. The oppressor has you in domination because he plans to keep you there. – Dr. King How long will prejudice blind the divisions of men? No lie can live forever. – Dr. King FIRM STRENGTH OF ABUNDANCE
Johnathan Lee Palmer is a 5th grader who has won all the debates on the speech team at his elementary school for the last two years. Johnathan is kind of a big deal in his school district. He has won debates against the 7th and 8th graders at his school. Students want him to be on their team. Johnathan receives a lot of courtesy and respect from students and teachers. His orator skills has made him number one in his school district. Johnathan comes from a purse-proud family starting way back to his great-grandfather. Zion Rosa is the new girl in town. She is also in the 5th grade. Her family is not rich. They are considered upper-middle class. Zion challenged Johnathan this year and won the competition. She came in first place; beating the other 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade students. Rosa received the rewards of trophies, medals, certificates and a cash prize of $150. Mrs. Rosa was not able to attend the debate in light of her working schedule so Zion did her speech for her entire family, friends and neighbors. MRS. ROSA: Okay, Zion tell us when you are ready. I am going to get my camera. Don’t leave anything out baby. ZION: Yes ma’am! Where is grandma and grandpa? I dedicated my performance to them! MR. ROSA: Grandma and grandpa was there with the rest of us Zion. ZION: Yes, I know dad but they are very instrumental to why I believe I won this debate! I don’t want to start without them. Oh! Here they come! I am ready. MR. ROSA: Zion don’t forget to tell us what the question was before you start. ZION: If you had one day left on earth and was granted one wish, what would you wish for? Would you choose to be rich? This was the questions. My opponent Johnathan, talked about his family’s wealth and legacy. He stated to the judges that it was an easy question for him. He talked about how great capitalism is; how his family inherited all this wealth…yadda…yadda…yadda! He had a typical answer like all the rest of the participants. I excitingly articulated I would not be interested in riches. I said I would wish for an abundance of everything! Then I begin to expound on my answer of abundance. I said I would wish for an abundance of love to kill hate; abundance of kindness to chase cruelness away; an abundance of food so hunger can go away; an abundance of good parents to infect communities the right way; an abundance of good marriages like my mom and dad; an abundance of righteous leadership to keep wickedness low; an abundance of good communities to keep us safe; an abundance of good neighbors for peace in our streets; an abundance of well-behaved kids that respect their parents and communities; an abundance of justice with fairness; an abundance of laws that people obey; an abundance of thriving businesses; an abundance of forgiveness to promote healing; an abundance of healthy people with affordable medical treatments; an abundance of prayer so people learn to pray; an abundance of grace loaded with bowels of mercy and an abundance of miracles because my grandpa and grandma are living testimonies of love that turned into miracles. There would be no lack on my last day. There would only be an abundance of everything! MRS. ROSA: (Proudly) Zion, sometimes I can't believe you are just 10 years old. I am so proud of you! You are like 10 going on 29. Thank you for giving your all in that speech! I love you! ZION: I love you too mama! Thanks for coming everyone. Thanks for your love and support. NEIGHBOR 1: What did Johnathan do after you won? ZION: He came up to me and shook my hand to congratulate me. NEIGHBOR 2: Awww that was so sweet of him. Nice job Zion. You can be part of their weakness or you can add to their strength! Even if you think they haven't been paying attention they are watching you and listening; observing you as the example. Chicago is the paragon of House Music; giving birth to all kinds of dope beats within the genre (deep house, ghetto house, tech house, future house) of House Music. House Music originated from Chicago. It was pioneered by Alan King, Robert Williams and Derrick Carter. The music has aged with the culture. When you hear House Music you can’t help but to move your body. Sometimes House Music will keep folks on the dance floor literally all night long. They are too far gone on the dance floor and there is no way back once those house tracks stroke their ears. In Chicago a group of King-Papa DJs come together and have a picnic known as the Chosen Few DJs Annul Music Festival. House Heads or people who love house music come from all over the world to groove to the tunes of House Music. Housemaster Boyz - House Nation The Housemaster Boyz gave us the celebration to rock a Sancti-Fly House Nation. Everything must have some house music; baby showers, backyard parties, your kids prom, weddings, and relaxing in your house. Although the only words they say are “House Nation” all throughout this particular track, this is classic house music. Back in the day when you heard this song you made sure to do your favorite dance moves because this was your part of the mix to show-off! STEVE "SILK" HURLEY - Jack Your Body (Original Mix) 1986 Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack your Body! Remember back in the day when you heard this song and you were out with your girls or your guys and started dancing. You would say “I’m about to jack him up.” If you had on a jacket you took that off quickly because you just knew you were about to get down. Now we have gone from jacking (old school) our bodies to juking (new school) our bodies. Lil Louis - French Kiss (The Original Underground Mix) Lil Louis inspired a lot of sexuality with this song. I surmise that is why he titled it French Kiss. There is a part of this track that slows down and plays really slow. It slows down to allow dancers to partake in a lot of gyrating on the dance floor. I used to see complete strangers kissing each other back in the day when I was younger, off of this song. Ralphi Rosario featuring Xaviera Gold YOU USED TO KNOW HOW TO LOVE ME RIGHT! Gone Xavier girrrl! Boom! When women hear this song they go crazy! You know we are singing it LOUD enough for our men to hear us when they are getting on our nerves. This woman’s voice will keep you on the dance floor. Especially women! When you hear this track by Ralphi Rosario featuring Xaviera Gold you appreciate classic House music like this! FRANKIE KNUCKLES It is a cold world sometimes. We have to say goodbye too soon at times. Frankie Knuckles was known as the God-Father of House music. His legacy lives on through his foundation and music. Din Daa Daa (Original 12" Version) - George Kranz This song was used a lot in House music. Dance groups were formed from this song. Everyone wanted to dance against you because they thought they could out dance you on the dance floor. They were so wrong, right! They thought they could out-do you on the dance floor with the dancing groups that were formed off this song. It was so cool to get your girls’ group or your boys’ group steps together to give the crowd what they were expecting each week. This song just had that effect of wanting you to make up dance routine and we did, didn’t we! Farley Jackmaster Funk - Love Can't Turn Around Well, this is how it started. It cost $10 dollars to get in, right. You guys were all dancing to some Hip-Hop and R&B in the club. When they started playing some House Music your friends wanted to go but the DJ was playing “Love Can’t Turn Around” by Farley and you were NOT about to leave. House Music is like your prescription; medicine! It was not about to be over. You have to get your groove on. You had to work, work your body on your favorite part of the song. Your friends were mad but you had to get your $10 worth! You were the last one on the dance floor after the lights came on. :0) DJ WAYNE WILLIAMS
Listen, learn, and relax! Enjoy DJ Wayne Williams House Music. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all the Butter-Fly Mamas engulfed in their purpose driven visions; making the best decisions for their lives and not giving foolishness any attention. Butter-Fly Mamas eat, drink, and live the difference. The intuition of a mother naturally leaks in love and understanding; influencing the hearts of egos to stop glowing in the dark as they unite in the light to collaborate in the challenge of being their best selves. Butter-Fly Mamas continue to rise and shine despite these perilous times. They are born with a spiritual endurance as mothers. I know it appears that this is an antiquated adage. You might need a reminder of what you've been taught. Butter-Fly Mamas raised you to treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. If you don't like it, why would you do it to others? Butter-Fly Mams tell us we have a choice whether we want to be happy or not. Start your day with the choice to be happy. Yes, anything can happen in a given day but it is your attitude that will heal you or hold you captive. Choose to be happy on purpose and good things will always work out for you. Whatever your feelings are they are yours. If that is how you feel at the time or moment, it is okay. Feelings pass! No one has the authority to tell you how you should feel about something. Don't let anyone invalidate or minimize how you feel. Your experiences matter and you are important! No one can dictate to you about what you've been through! Don't entertain foolishness! Ignore! Ignore! Ignore them! Butter-Fly Mamas allow their children to dream big.They don't say dumb things like, "Why do you want to do that?" or "It's impossible!" They encourage all women to think big! When their dreams become fully grown they are visionaries with a plan to execute it. Dependency comes from a higher power! There is nothing wrong with teaching young girls or other women how to be independent women; to want their own or have their own. The difference between wanting a man and needing a man has to be taught! When you are a married woman it is great to tell your man how much you need and appreciate him but they need to know you can live without them; make it without them. Women have the right to be single if that is their choice. They have the right to add to their spouse by being a helpmate. Learn from your mistakes and keep going. Pause if you have to! Cry if you must but don't you dare stop! Keep on going! You are going to make it to your destiny; your journey! Let me say this again! Yes! The people who belong in your life; those who are meant to be will be. Keep on moving and living your life! Butter-Fly Mamas teach us to pray for divine connections. So shall you attract them! Butter-Fly Mamas believe in themselves and try to pass that on to others; especially their children. They believe in you because you are part of them and THEY KNOW you will succeed at whatever the task is. Believe in yourself, just a little more! I believe in you! Train yourself mentally to be a calm Butter-Fly Mama. If you are stopped by the police, please be calm. If you are at work and you encounter an unfair situation, be calm. When your kids have done the unbelievable try your best to remain calm and not embarrass yourself or them in public. Calmness is an art worthy of your practice. It is powerful! Keep a positive mindset at all times. Make sure you surround yourself with positive vibes and your life will be positive. You don't have room for negative energy. Boy bye, girl bye! :) It is not about anybody else but you. You're doing the best you can do so be careful with how you talk to yourself; how you treat yourself. You will eventually get there. Relax and breathe. Take time out for yourself today! You're a woman of worth so know your worth. Value yourself and command that others respect your worth; + your space! Butter-Fly Mamas tell us that we can change the world one mother, daughter, and sister at a time. You're like the major sunshine that others need! They inspire us to do something about a thing if we don't like it. The beautiful thing is we start believing it and we do it! I smell so much change in the air! Remember you will always need your sisters. No matter what happens in your life, keep those good sisters around and enjoy your time with them. You may be a mother and a wife but you are still an individual. Don’t allow anyone to take your crown off. If you see another sister or mother with her crown a little crooked or out of shape, help her straighten it out. Remember your inner and outer beauty is unique; like no one else. Your crown belongs on your head at all times. Wear it proudly! Butter-Fly Mamas urge us to listen to our elders. There are some of us who think we know everything. We won’t listen to anyone else. I plead with you to consider all those warnings and love notes your mother or grandmother gave to you and take heed. I understand you are educated! Your education is incomparable to life experience so listen. I enjoy hanging around my elders. I welcome all the wisdom I can get. Those who have gone through it can tell you how to do it! Celebrate each other; the women and mothers in your life! Call your mom. Call your grandmother (I miss my Lula)! Give up some of your time and spend it with them! Tell them how much you appreciate them! What about saying "I love you." My aunt Mable is 101 years old and I always tell her I love her when I visit her. She loves to hear it! I have a few friends who don't have their moms present. Don't take yours for granted while they are in the land of the living. If you have to let somethings go, do it! Forgive and let that stuff go! The only thing you have are the memories when your mother is no longer here. Please make your memories count!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE STUNNING BUTTER-FLY MAMAS! THANKS FOR DOING ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU DO AND FOR SHOWING OTHER S THE RIGHT WAY TOO! The Sister Circle Girlfriend Chats is a fictitious online radio show hosted by 5 women who happen to be girlfriends. It is a platform where women come together to support each other during human issues they have in life. They laugh, they cry and they get real girlfriend solutions if they choose to take heed. Sometimes they don't take heed. The sisters sit in a circle each week and talk about the issues they want to discuss. They allow callers to call into their show to share their feelings, concerns or comments. Nothing is off limits!
Trisha starts off the Circle with a request from her sister who recently ended a long-term relationship due to her ex cheating on her. She spent 8 years of her life with her ex-husband. Trisha’s sister joined a support group to help her deal with her issues. She blamed herself for the failure of her second marriage. Trisha wants to know whether or not she should confide in her best friend about her boyfriend cheating on her. Trisha: Today we are going to discuss the subject of cheating. Yes, so get ready! My sister is responsible for the topic of today. Let me state, we are not trying to solve why people cheat. Please listen carefully and make your comments after you hear all of the information; especially YOU Iona. Iona, Constance, Valeria and Kayla: (All nod with a head gesture of okay) Trisha: As you know, my sister does not want her name on the show. We will call her Lady LJ. Those are the initials of her name. Lady LJ is no stranger to the pain and sorrow of cheating. She can share her story with you better than I can. Welcome my sister, Lady LJ. Lady LJ: Hello to all the Sisters and to the audience listening. I was in a relationship for 8 years with a man I loved. He was my best friend. We shared lots of things in common together. We also had things we did not have in common. We balanced each other out perfectly. At least this is what I thought… Iona: (Interrupts) Girl, please don’t tell me he was on the down low and you caught him in the bed or shower with another dude? Lady LJ: Noooo, but Iona, you’re been very rude. Can I please speak my peace? Iona: Sorry! I’m just a firecracker ready to pop all over this subject! Lady LJ: (Smiling) Thank you! This is rather long so please be patient with me as I give you a little bit about my background and why I came on the show for help. As I was saying, we were perfect for each other. I got a promotion on my job a year after we were married. The new position required me to travel 3 days out of the week, monthly. I talked it over with my husband at the time. He was fine with it. It was only once a month. Sometimes I would be out of town on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Other times it would be early in the week. I knew something was off. Something had changed but I didn’t want to listen to that small voice that kept telling me to be careful. We were together for two years before we decided to move in together. We married after a year. We both have kids from previous marriages. His son was away at school and my two girls were just starting college; all grown and on their own. I started smelling different fragrances of perfume in our home. I would find lipsticks and hair pens that did not belong to me. I didn’t say anything to my husband about it. I was slowly deteriorating inside knowing he was cheating on me in our house each time I went out of town for work. When I would call him he would tell me how much overtime he was working on his job. When I was home it seemed like he would pick fights with me purposely to get out of taking me out. We used to always enjoy each other’s company and go out. I was in disbelief because I loved him. I thought we were going to grow old together. He was so sloppy with his affairs. After 3 years of living a complete lie, I set him up with the help and support of my girlfriends. One of my friends was a professional photographer. I had one who worked at the airlines. Another one of my friends was my neighbor who became one of my very good friends. She saw everything! One day I told my husband I was going to be out of town for 3 days. I did my usual routine. I told him my flight information; departure and arrival times with hotel stay. I gave him all of my numbers. I let him see me packing, just like normal. I didn’t go out of town. I stayed close by with the help of my three girlfriends. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. One Friday night I saw one girl go into our home. She stayed for about 8 hours. She came around 6pm and left in the wee hours of the morning. My girlfriend took pictures of the young lady as she entered and as she exited. The next time was on a Saturday. I saw another lady come over around the same time. This particular lady stayed the night and went home late in the morning the next day Sunday. This was his routine. I was schedule to be back home Sunday evening so I had my girlfriend drive me back to the airport so that my husband could pick me up. He picked me up and I tried my best to be normal. I was numb so I pulled it off. The following week I confronted him with all of my evidence. I think it was on a Tuesday. I left him. I filed for divorce and haven’t looked back since. The issue is, the same thing is happening to one of my girlfriends who is my best friend. I don’t want to be biased but her man is cheating on her. I moved to a community where my best friend’s boyfriend lives. I live right across from him in a Townhouse. He knows I live nearby. My best friend told him. I’ve even been to his place occasionally when they’ve thrown parties at his house. He is arrogant and not very smart to cheat on her knowing I live a few houses down from him. I don’t know if I should tell her. When she was trying to tell me about my husband I ignored her. I got really mad at her even though I knew the truth. I didn’t want to hear it. It hurt badly. It’s ineffable. I can’t even explain the pain. I would like to know if I should tell my best friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Should I not say anything and let her find out on her own? What should I do? Iona: This is a very hard question. I am speechless! You know that doesn’t happen often. Your husband was a low-down dirty dog. He had no shame…no conviction! I can hear him barking right now. His kind of behavior is totally disgusting. As much as I loathe men and women who are cheaters, I honestly do not know if I would tell my best friend her man is cheating on her if I was in your state. I also don’t believe you are healed from your own adultery. The situation is a bit different because you were married to your husband. Your friend is not. Men don’t see dating as closing their options. Women will give their all in a relationship even when there is no promise of marriage. We need to stop doing that! Even if a man is in a so-called committed relationship he is not married to the woman. This is how some men think. I need more time for this one. Constance: As a married woman who use to be single, I don’t see a difference. I think you should tell your friend. If my husband or boyfriend is cheating on me with multiple women I could very well contract a venereal disease. I understand some women will get upset because you really DO NOT know what you will do in those types of situations. I personally would want to know! I have thought about what I’d do if it happen to me many times. I also discussed it with my husband. I expressed to him that infidelity is something I am not willing to compromise on. I told him I can compromise and sacrifice on anything else but that! If he is willing to risk it all he will lose me. My friends and family understand I would want to know if they saw my husband cheating. Kayla: If you feel strongly convicted to tell your best friend, then I say warn her. You have to prepare yourself for the consequences, positive or negative if you open Pandora’s Box. I personally would forgive my husband the first time if he cheated. Studies have shown that in some marriages, infidelity helped to strengthen couples after adultery. It is possible to get pass the hurt and mistrust. If both parties are willing to save their marriage it can happen. Iona: In what world Kayla? I disagree 1000%. I know this topic is part of your professional expertise but you basically just told the world it was okay to cheat one time because women will forgive you. Just don’t do it twice. Naw, do not do it at all. It’s called self-control! Women have to know their worth! Lady LJ: I also disagree with you Kayla. I don’t think any women should accept a man cheating. It should never be allowed in my book. If we are in a committed monogamous relationship, no! Kayla: Well, Iona that is your prerogative to disagree. I said I would forgive MY HUSBAND! I am not telling the entire world that. Please don’t take what I say out of context. People are not perfect. Marriages are not perfect either. In a marriage, sometimes you might let your spouse down. The reality is we all need grace and mercy. I would forgive it one time and one time ONLY! I have no qualms about stating that. My husband knows how I feel. Also, there are women and men who do get pass infidelity and their marriages are better. Valeria: What is done in the dark will come to light every time. My abuela always said that. Wrong does not last for long. I personally would not tell my best friend her man/boyfriend is a liar and a cheater. I am also the type that would not want anyone telling me about my man. I believe I would feel differently if my friend was married because that is a covenant with God. I take that a bit more seriously. If it was me I would eventually find out. No one has to tell me. I would mind my own business. Your best friend will find out just like you did. You were not ready to receive the truth, but you knew it, Lady LJ. Lady LJ: You’re absolutely correct Valeria. The truth did hurt! I don’t want my friend going through that. I am not interested in dating right now. I am never getting married again. I don’t hate all men. I do believe there are good men out there. My husband gave me a few diseases that I thankfully was able to get rid of with medication. I am against cheating; getting cheated on or being the cheater. Iona: Why did you stay with him for 3 years after finding out he was cheating on you every time you went out of town. I am not trying to judge you. I need to know why! Do you think he was cheating on you before you got promoted? There is no way I will stay with a man that long if I have concrete evidence that he is cheating on me. No way! Why do women feel such obligation toward trying to keep something together that is falling apart? Incidentally, LJ it is not your fault. He has a problem. Try your best not to blame yourself. Oops, girl I almost said your real name. Lady LJ: I concede I was stupid and in love with my husband. I didn’t want to believe the truth just like Valeria said. I was married for 15 years prior to my second husband. I never thought I’d re-marry again but I found love. I still love my ex-husband but I am not in love with him. I felt like I did something wrong; like it was my fault for not being sweet enough, pretty enough and not worthy of his love. I thought I wasn’t good enough for him. Why did he cheat on me? This is the question that kept racing through my mind. My self-esteem was very love. I am reclaiming it daily. I was faithful, I was a great cook, I was understanding. I was submissive and independent. I was loyal to him. I was his helper in every way. I kept our house clean. I didn’t’ want to be by myself. I certainly didn’t want to go through another divorce. It has been five months since my divorce. I don’t want my best friend to ever go through this; no women! I’ve been in therapy and it is going to take time for me to completely heal. I guess I don’t have all the answers to your questions Iona. What I will say is I blame no one but myself. As women we have to empower each other. It’s okay to be alone if you have to be; if you chose to be! Trisha: We really need to get to our callers. I have people texting me on my cell asking me when we are going to open up our lines for callers to call in. Please remember our topic. What would you do if someone you know is being cheated on? Would you tell them? What would you do? My sister needs advice. Although my sister shared her background about cheating, this really is not about her. Her story is rather interesting. This is about her best friend. I personally would not mind my own business like Valeria would. I would tell my best friend and allow her the choice of what to do with the information. Iona: I think I would want to know whether married or single. I am still undecided as to whether I would tell my best friend or any of my friends if their girl or guy is cheating on them. I would let the cheater know I am aware of what they are doing by letting them see me and saying hello to them. Constance: I would also want to know. I have talked to family and friends about this topic. They understand that no matter how hard the information, I want to know. There are some friend who told me they would want to know. They had me promise to tell them. There are a few friends who told me they would not want to know. Audience what do you guys think? What would you do if you were in in Lady LJ’s shoes? What you tell your friend her man is a cheater? Valeria: This is definitely heavy stuff. Let’s talk to our callers to see who agrees or disagrees with telling your best friend or any friend their significant other is cheating on them. Do you mind your own business or would you say something? AMERICAN LYNCHING Marion, Indiana flaunted the truthiness of love and justice as they allowed the lynching of Thomas Shipp and Abe Smith in 1930. Shipp and Smith were black teens accused of murdering a white man and raping a white woman. History has taught us that these terrorist attacks were never justified. They were used unjustly against black folks in light of the demonic mentality whites consumed during that time. If you were white and you were against lynching; helping blacks, you were lynched too. If you study the picture above, it appears they are dressed up to go to church; men and women gathered in their best attire. Children were known to be present at these murders, sadly. It was normal for church folks to come home from church and attend a lynching. I don’t know what bible they were reading back then but I thought God was love. I understand why some people don’t want to embrace Christianity. A lot of white supremacy was used to control black folks through religion. They lusted for the intimidation and control of black people with lynching as their ammunition! “Today I have stood, where once Davis stood, and took an oath to my people. It is very appropriate then that from this very heart of the great Anglo-Saxon Southland, that today we sound the drum for freedom as have our generations of forebears before us done, time and time again through history. Let us rise to the call of freedom-loving blood that is in us and send our answer to the tyranny that clanks its chains upon the South. In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny…and I say…segregation today… segregation tomorrow…segregation forever." Unfortunately, there are scientific elements of hate and white supremacy dripping dangerously in the "heart of the great Anglo-Saxon" of America and in other countries that keeps racism effective and in place. They are the remainders of the George Wallace effect; mass incarceration, oppression, discrimination and all the other abominations tied to lynching. It's time for atonement. “One hundred years of delay have passed since President Lincoln freed the slaves, yet their heirs, their grandsons, are not fully free. They are not yet freed from the bonds of injustice. They are not yet freed from social and economic oppression. And this Nation, for all its hopes and all its boasts, will not be fully free until all its citizens are free. We preach freedom around the world, and we mean it, and we cherish our freedom here at home, but are we to say to the world, and much more importantly, to each other that this is the land of the free except for the Negroes; that we have no second-class citizens except Negroes; that we have no class or caste system, no ghettoes, no master race except with respect to Negroes?” Below are my Sancti-Fly Tweets of the week. I cruise around Twitter sometimes and shine a light on some random tweets I think are really significant or funny.
Josh Marshall More It's comically appropriate in its stupidity and hypocrisy that President Trump is considering pardon for Muhammad Ali (actually there's no conviction to pardon) while railing and raging against players like Colin Kaepernick. Remember what Ali was (at first) convicted of. Muhammad Ali is trending on Twitter today because his name is the greatest! Okay just kidding but he is the greatest boxer of all time! It is trending because President Trump is considering pardoning him although Muhammad Ali is no longer with us. Plus, his conviction was overturned by the United States Supreme Court in 1971. Josh Marshall disagreed with President Trump in light of no pardons to pardon. There were a host of tweets regarding this hot subject. I could not resist just posting only one. Keith Boykin Instead of fake pardoning Muhammad Ali, Trump should: 1. Apologize to the Central Park Five. 2. Instruct DOJ to re-instate President Obama's sentence reduction policy for low-level drug offenders. 3. Push for comprehensive prison reform, sentencing reform and drug law reform. Keith Boykin advocated for more criminal justice reform from President Trump "instead of fake pardoning” of Muhammad Ali. Do you agree with Mr. Boykin? Equality & Justice please have your way today, yesterday and tomorrow! Daniel Dale Trump’s idea to pardon Muhammad Ali is confusing. The Supreme Court overturned his conviction in 1971. And in 1977 Jimmy Carter granted a blanket pardon to draft evaders. Mr. Dale states how perplexing it all is to have President Trump issue the possibility of a pardon for Muhammad Ali. Shaun King it’s genuinely baffling to see people who love Muhammad Ali but hate Colin Kaepernick. Or how people hate Black Lives Matter but quote Dr. King and call him their hero. At the peak of their protests, both men were widely hated by millions of Americans. The last tweet on Muhammad Ali is from Shaun King. Shaun has an interesting point. I surmise you can like one and dislike the other, right? The point is Ali, King and Kaepernick fought for and was (is) fighting for basic human rights; fairness, racial justice and equality. Is it possible for you to see that in one and not recognize it in another? Tatianah Green Happy Best Friends Day! I'm blessed to have 4. It wasn't always like that! Cherish the people in your life #NationalBestFriendsDay Tatianah tweets about celebrating and acknowledging our best friends. Did you know that today is National Best Friends Day? I didn’t know either! It’s Friday! If you can, try hanging out with your best friends today. I am surrounded by love and blessed to have the best of friends in my life! It’s not always easy to attain good friends who are your best. They are out there! #IAmAnImmigrant Hey Chicago we’re setting up for our second pop-up on the #ImmigrantHeritageMonth US tour! Join us from 11:00-7:00 at Dailey Plaza for free t-shirts, music, key note speakers, and more! #CelebrateImmigrants Today in Chicago and all over the world we are honoring Immigrant Heritage Month. There are plenty of migration stories in all of our families and bloodlines. If you deny that you are not being honest. America is engraved with immigrants. Happy Immigrant Heritage Month to all! Chris Cillizza The suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade this week are a reminder: No matter how successful, wealthy or seemingly happy you are, we all battle our own demons. Reach out to one another. Destigmatize depression, addiction and anxiety. We are all in this together. Mr. Cillizza is absolutely correct. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's suicides are an important notice for us all to be more mindful of others; be kinder! It doesn’t cost anything to initiate concern towards your fellow brothers and sisters who may be going through what Kate and Anthony were struggling with. You never know what folks are going through. Shaun King 4 ways I hope we will live our lives to honor Anthony Bourdain.... 1. Search out good food. Eat it. Tell everybody. 2. Find cultures other than your own. Value the people. Tell their stories. Lift them up. 3. Travel like crazy. 4. Speak out unapologetically on injustice. Shaun King tweeted about the goodness of Anthony Bourdain and various ways to keep his memory alive. I didn’t know he was a famous chef. Social media will definitely keep you abreast on people and all things. People R.I.P. Anthony Bourdain People Magazine did a wonderful tribute to Mr. Anthony Bourdain. Matt Manero It takes time for your DREAMS to become your REALITY. Stay focused, keep grinding, and your COMMITMENT will deliver. #FridayFeeling Matt Manero gives us the positive energy we need to begin and end our days with. Friday Feeling was trending. This particular tweet stood out to me. I hope you are encouraged by it. Don’t give up! Keep on moving. Love, AlfonzoWords I am Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious #FridayFeeling #AlfonzoWords I really like what Mr. AlfonzoWords did in this tweet. This Friday Feeling tweet is all about self-love as Mr. Love, AlfonzoWords ask us to describe what we are. I am a Sancti-Fly Mama! What are you? This is probably silly to some but it will make you feel good about yourself. |
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